The holidays are always a lovely time to gather close with your friends and family and appreciate the season. Some family members, unfortunately, tend to pry just a little bit too much into your current life. Your grandfather wanting to know how you’re enjoying school is just fine, but your Aunt Jean with the tuna breath and uncomfortably long hugs who keeps asking when you’ll be bringing a boyfriend to Christmas dinner is a bit too much to handle. While every family and family member is different, there are some basic questions that everybody needs to know how to combat. Here are five of the usual holiday dinner questions to prepare for this year. 

1. Why don’t you come visit more often?

This question is not always applicable, especially when the family member obviously lives too far away to make constant visitation possible. However, nothing makes you feel guiltier than your 90 year old grandmother who lives an hour and a half away telling you how she doesn’t have much time left and would like to spend some of that time with you. Then, she looks at you with those sad puppy dog eyes that make you want to just move into the nursing home with her or buy her a whole kennel of dogs just to keep her company and make her happy. The response to this one is usually fairly easy. Firstly, make sure to avoid eye contact or focus on something around her eyes like her brows or nose, in order to avoid the puppy dog stare. Secondly, tell her that you’ve had a long busy semester, but you will try hard to start visiting her more often. Thirdly, go visit her! Come on, she is your grandma after all!

2. How were your grades this semester?

This might seem like an easy question, but beware because it is surely a trick to give you the longest lecture of your life. If you did poorly, this is an opportunity for your family to weigh in on all your shortcomings, regardless of their actual relation to the topic. They might also throw in their study techniques and how you need to focus less on partying and more on school work. You might think that if you did well, your family will have nothing to complain about, and in that case you would be severely mistaken. To your family, if you are doing a good job, another area of your life must be lacking. Maybe you are not taking hard enough classes or maybe you need to realize that there is life outside of the college classroom. You family will go for your weakest point and pounce. The best way to respond to this question is just simply “fine” and “pass the potatoes.” Give an answer that is both short and sweet, then more on as quick as you can and get their mind off the subject.

3. What’s your major?/ And what exactly can you do with that degree?

This question can annoy you to no end. This one will require the most preparation. Just to repeat, there can be no improving with this response or you will be likely gutted like a fish. Just remember that your family members have more experience in the world and often know exactly what they are talking about. If you even slightly hesitate on your response, they will immediately begin to give you every bit of information they know on that career field and every thing that they think you would be better suited for because your family thinks you sound “unsure” of what you really want to do. This is also the usual response if you tell your family that you are undecided. Therefore, if you are undecided, just pick something that you have been thinking about as a major and give them that answer. Don’t say you are trying to choose between multiple fields, because they are sure to weigh in with their opinion and it is unlikely to be pleasant.

4. Do you have anybody special in your life right now?

This is certainly one of the most difficult ones for so many reasons. Maybe you have somebody, but you don’t think your family would approve or that if your significant other met your family, they would take off running and never look back. Maybe, you’re closeted and every time Aunt Jean asks you if you’ve met any nice boys, you just want to scream, “No! And I will never meet any nice boys” or vice versa for guys. Maybe you simply don’t want to answer this question for the hundredth time because you have given up on even being able to find somebody. Whatever reasons you have are completely valid and you don’t have to feed in to every one of their romantic inquiries. Some of the easiest ways to answer this are with a simple “no, not yet” or “I’m just holding off so I can focus on my studies.” The latter usually gets your family off your back and makes them a little bit more proud of the hardworking college student you have become.

While many of these questions have good intentions behind them, the execution is not always the best. Just prepare some standard answers for all of these questions and dinner should pass in no time. The last thing to remember is your family loves you and no matter how many of these terrible questions and lectures and uncomfortable hugs they put you through, this is probably the last time you have to deal with them till the next holiday.