It’s an addiction, they say.

It will give you heart disease, they caution.

To those comments we slurp obnoxiously and stir loudly all of our fixins into our own version of liquid gold.

It does not matter how many cautionary tales we are told by our parents or doctors about caffeine consumption. None of them will put any sort of damper on our need for caffeine.

Perhaps it wasn’t obvious based on the sheer number of cafés — there are 13, by the way — and dining centers on campus that cater to our habit, so we’ll lay it out for you.

No single driving force for college students’ existence rivals the power of the almighty coffee bean.

Grades? Studying for exams? Actually prying yourself out of bed to go to class? None of these things would be even attemptable if we didn’t face them with our battle buddy, our partner in crime: caffeine.

Adults, except Lorelai Gilmore, are not even close to being on our level when it comes to understanding the necessity of coffee.

I have yet to meet a faculty member or regular adult who plans their day around the times when Caribou’s lines don’t extend to the back end of The Hub.

Students also show a great deal of dedication when it comes to our number one vice.

It doesn’t matter how long the lines or wait times are, and it doesn’t matter how exhausted we get from standing — there’s a good chance we get so exhausted because our heart rates are so high from all the caffeine, but that’s not important. We will fight for our right to coffee.

Caffeine is simply that important.

Because it is a rather expensive habit to keep up, we must praise the beauty of the delay setting on home brew coffee makers. Can you imagine the pain of waking up and having to face the day without the heavenly smell of already made coffee waiting for you, beckoning you out of bed?

You know what, it’s just too painful to think about not having caffeine at those ungodly early hours, so let’s not.

We hate to be the ones to break it to you hard-working professors, but we must. If you think students are showing up to an 8 a.m. without any outside force just to learn, you’re mistaken. A coffee pot in your classroom, however, would be an entirely different story.