With the upcoming risqué movie premiering on February 13th, many retailers have taken advantage of the new brand to create their own lines of products. Well, we’re here to bring you the best of the best and the worst of the worst.

1. Sephora: Make Up Forever’s “Desire Me Cheek Set”, “Give In To Me Makeup Kit”, and “Tease Me Lip Set” all inspired, of course, by Fifty Shades of Grey. Now this is a quality brand, and there is nothing crazy about these products except for their name and packaging. Rating: 10/10

2. Fifty Shades Wine: You can now officially set the mood with either “Red Satin” or “White Silk” wines for only $17.99 a bottle. I haven’t personally tasted this wine, but according to PopSugar.com, it’s pretty tasty. Rating: 10/10

3. Target: There is a whole new range of personal care products sporting the brand, including a “Massage Me Massage Candle”, “Sensual Touch Massage Oil”, “Sweet Sensation Bath Oil”, “No Peeking Soft Twin Blindfold Set”, “Adult Vibrating Love Ring”, and of course, “Silky Caress Silk Lubricant.” Target’s not really holding anything back here. Rating: 8/10

4. Hot Topic: Angsty teens everywhere can buy official Fifty Shades t-shirts, with classic sayings such as “Laters, baby” and “Keep Calm and Listen to Your Inner Goddess.” If t-shirts aren’t enough, there are also tights available. Rating: 2/10

5. Etsy: I’m sure there’s more where this came from, but right now we’re going to focus on Fifty Shades Tumblers. Carry one of these puppies around to class to let everyone know about your emotional problems. At only $10 each, you can pick from your choice of saying—”Sub in training”, “Cry because Christian Grey is fictional”, “Meet me in the red room”, or “Stop biting that lip…” These are actually the worst, but on the plus side you need something to put your Fifty Shades wine into. Rating: 1/10

Several runners up include a Fifty Shades board game, teddy bear, a vibrator, and nail polish. Wherever you turn, Fifty Shades merch is going to be there, haunting you. If the movie is a success, we might never see the end.