Don’t create trash

Ripping your cocktail napkins and coasters into little bits hasn’t been and will never be cool. You’re making a mess in your own drink area and creating extra work for your bartender. With this, keep the napkins, wrappers, gum and other crap out of your drink glass. You look like an infant when you stuff your glass with paper that the bartender has to dig out, and when you litter the bar with your ripped-off beer label.

So you had a drink last week, made by a bartender who isn’t me

“So I had this thing and it was kind of blue-ish, and I think it had pineapple juice in it. I’m pretty sure it started with a ‘t’ or something.” What? To the bartender who didn’t make this mysterious drink last week, you sound like you’re speaking gibberish. Unless you know exactly what was in it or the name of the drink, don’t open your mouth. Order something else. Just stop.

Intensely watching me make your drink is lame

I promise that you watching me pour your beer or mix your drink will make absolutely no difference on how I prepare it. If anything, it’ll just annoy me. You don’t get special attention or extra alcohol just because you’re trying to x-ray the glass and inspect my technique.

Don’t expect your drinks to be made right away

This has two parts. First of all, the drinks you order could take awhile to make. Pound it into your head that mixed shots and other drinks (like a Bloody Mary or a Long Island Iced Tea) could take awhile to mix together. Grabbing a beer from the cooler is way faster than preparing a couple five-ingredient shots.

Next, just because I take your drink order, it doesn’t mean you’ll get your drinks immediately. It can be frustrating to not get served straight away, but be aware that you’re probably being put on your bartender’s mental waiting list and you’ll be helped A.S.A.P.

Please don’t touch me

Don’t grab my arm, don’t touch my hand, don’t give me a hug and don’t grab me around my waist. This can be creepy and is incredibly annoying, especially if I have a bar full of people to help.

 Stop pouting because we don’t have your brand of choice

There are hundreds of alcohol brands for both beer and liquor, and chances are that you may come across a bar that doesn’t stock your favorite. This does not mean you get to groan and gripe about the lack of your fave, but it means that you pick a different drink and get over it.