Is dating dead?

The generation in which I live has been given many names for its habits and developments like “Generation E” for our fondness of all things electronic or “Generation Like” because of our obsession with online popularity. The list is lengthy, for a good reason, but I would like to tack on one more. It may not roll off the tongue as smoothly as the others but it certainly does apply. Amongst all the rest, we are The Generation that Killed Romance.

Call me a cynic, which most everyone does, but one of the biggest societal changes of this generation is the interactions between the sexes and the lack of suave and romance between them. In the days of “traditional courtship” one would have to work up the courage to pick up the phone and ask the other to accompany them on some sort of date.

Naturally, this took courage because even over the phone the sound of rejection in someone’s voice would still sting and cause the “asker” to walk away with his tail between his legs. Thus, because no one wants to feel the slow seething burn of rejection, we have developed a whole new twist on the traditional “ask out” in that it is no longer even an “ask out” at all.

A part of me wants to be furious with young adults of today for allowing romance to fall by the wayside but the other part of me gets it. Our parents and grandparents didn’t have DM’s to slide into or the ability to text someone you’re interested in to join you in whatever activity you were already doing, last minute. They had to work up the courage to ask someone out and they had to put thought into it beforehand. If you liked a girl or boy, you worked to show them because that was the only option.

However, we, being the incredibly astute generation we are, have figured out other ways to hint to someone they’re interested while still protecting our ever precious ego.

Take online dating sites like Tinder for example. This site bases its entire existence on the fact that people are afraid of getting hurt, lazy and completely egocentric. A study conducted by Pew Research determined that 59 percent of people think that using the internet is a viable way to meet new people with the potential for a relationship, and 66 percent of people have actually gone on a “date” with a person they met online or on an online dating site. These numbers may seem like somewhat of a nonissue, but when you think about it, online dating and fear of rejection really begin to create a vicious cycle very rapidly.

The reality is that only five percent of people who filed as being “married” for this study met online. That is a miniscule fraction, meaning that generally meeting someone virtually doesn’t pan out as well as one would hope.

That would hurt, even if we don’t want to admit it, so what do we do for pain relief? Well, we turn right back to the source for a little instant complimenting by a profile of someone who happens to be a few miles away. When we are given a flooding of compliments, we then feel better about ourselves, and the cycle begins again.

This generation prides itself on invincibility and unwavering strength, which is part of the reason this fear of dating and rejection is so ironic. If everyone of this generation walks around like they own the joint, shouldn’t they be able to suck it up and just ask someone out? I would say, quite simply, yes.

First of all, it is much more attractive when someone decides to be upfront with you about how they feel. Second of all, by asking someone out in person, you already know them so the hope for a strong foundation in a relationships is there.

The third, most-important point is that if we stopped being so afraid of the idea of rejection and came up with a cute romantic gesture, put yourself out there and got rejected, we wouldn’t be so afraid of it and perhaps we could resurrect romance yet.