Black Friday is no more. We are now in the age of Black Thursday. Forget spending time with family, eating delicious food, expressing faith and watching football, we can go shopping instead. I would much rather participate in the rough and dangerous game of holiday shopping than watch a rough and dangerous game from the comfort of my grandma’s couch.

The Thanksgiving meal is nothing more than a pregame fuel-up for bumper-carts; it is no longer about thanks at all. Maybe the meal should be moved to after the shopping, so we can express our thanks for not ending up in the hospital during a mad dash for some new gizmo, or for not missing out on the latest game before the retailers run out of stock.

I find it completely unsettling that stores are opening up as early as 5pm on Thursday evening. The people who actually have Thanksgiving dinner versus lunch are certainly going to miss out on the hundreds of dollars the stores say we are saving. It’s even affecting my own family lunch. My aunt Michelle had to be into work by four because she had to work the floor on Thanksgiving.

Not to mention the pure insanity that is holiday shopping. People seriously camp out in front of stores days ahead of the time the sales start. Then, the parking lots of the malls and stores do not have the capacity for the hordes of shoppers eager to fight their way to whatever it is they want. To top it all off, if the desired product is found, the lines for the register get to be longer than for a rollercoaster at an amusement park.

So maybe the Cyber Monday people have the right idea. But, then again, where is the thrill in getting your stuff the easy way and spending time with family on Thanksgiving?