Today, I’m ashamed to call myself a Cyclone. I honestly never thought I’d write that sentence. Not through all of our losses in sports, my struggles in academics and all the negative comments about Iowa and ISU; through it all, every day I was proud to represent the Cardinal and Gold. 

Yesterday I wore black to mourn the loss of our basic self respect and human decency. This happened on a Tuesday. We can’t blame the out-of-towners for this — Cyclones, former Cyclones and Ames residents perpetrated this. The blame falls squarely on our shoulders, and honestly, we deserve whatever punishment is served out to us. We may have seriously injured a man.

This is our home. And yet, we defile it by burning couches, tipping over cars, fighting each other and generally destroying it. There is no justification for us tearing our home to shreds. We hurt no one but ourselves and do nothing but ruin our reputation. Who wants to go to a school that tears itself apart every April? Who wants to be known as a graduate from the school that erupts in riots on a freaking Tuesday?

I had no idea whether there would be a Veishea when I woke up Wednesday morning. Quite frankly, we don’t deserve it. I really don’t know if we ever deserve another, and frankly, I wouldn’t blame the university if they shut Veishea down forever. Those who follow us may never have the opportunity to participate in this nearly century-old tradition. We have robbed them of that privilege.

Now, I’m sure many of you are saying “But I didn’t participate in the riots. I spoke out against them.” This is not directed at you specifically, but at the campus-wide climate of irresponsibility, recklessness and violence that we were all complicit in creating. I’m several states away at a conference at the moment, and I consider myself just as responsible as the men and women who tipped over those cars.

We need to collectively reevaluate our priorities. Is this really what we want to be known for? For rioting, destroying property, and even killing our own? Veishea was never meant to be that. Hell, it wasn’t even meant to be about the week-long party it has evolved into. Veishea was a celebration of all that it meant to be a Cyclone. Now, it’s little more than a monument to our own stupidity.

On Wednesday, I got the wonderful opportunity to tell all my fellow delegates that the school I’ve been claiming all week to be one of the greatest institutions in America just proved me wrong. 

I loved Veishea. I still love Iowa State. Perhaps one day I’ll even be able to call myself a proud Cyclone once again. But that is not this day.