Dizziness, lack of focus, fatigue, depression, negative body image and broken relationships are the symptoms that an estimated 24 million Americans struggling with an eating disorder experience everyday.

This week is Body Image and Eating Disorder Awareness Week on campus as part of the larger National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. The goal of the event is to start conversations about the issues of body image and eating disorders at Iowa State and to give resources to students and community members.

Many ISU students struggle with disordered eating or negative body image. With therapy, a support group of friends and family, and time, someone with an eating disorder can recover, like two ISU students have.

Adam Brower, sophomore in journalism and mass communication, struggled with anorexia and bulimia for about four years.

“When I was younger I was always the chubbier kid in school; there were times I was ridiculed,” Brower said. He remembers thinking to himself, “I want to be thin someday; I want to be athletic and built.”

His anorexia began in eighth grade during football season. He started working out too much and not eating enough. This snowballed into binging and purging, the behaviors of bulimia.

There are many different causes for eating disorders. The media was the major source of Brower’s.

“Being a gay male, I always felt I had to be in a standard. I always had to look good, look like the models on TV or magazines, always dress nicely. When I felt I didn’t look good, it triggered the bulimia,” Brower said.

Even though Brower was down to 140 pounds and 6 feet tall, he said he couldn’t see it. “When I saw my reflection, I would always [think] ‘I’m fat’.”

Brower suffered from bulimia throughout high school, concerning and deteriorating his relationships with his friends, parents and older brother, who was attending DMACC at the time. The bulimia changed his life and had complete control over him, he said.

“I felt very alone. I always kind of knew I wasn’t, but I always felt alone. I would always want to be alone, eat alone. I wanted to exclude myself from everything. I was not social,” Brower said.

He pointed out how this has changed drastically since he attended therapy.

During his senior year of high school, Brower got the help he needed. His grades were slipping to Ds and Fs; he would pass out and had no energy. He knew he was sick and needed help. He checked himself into rehabilitation at the hospital in Iowa City.

Brower attended an inpatient program for two weeks and immediately went to an outpatient program right after. He was gone from school for two months and then continued to see a therapist in Ames.

Therapy was extremely tough and emotional for Brower but also very helpful. He said, “I’m definitely glad I went [to treatment]. I wouldn’t be in school if I hadn’t. I wouldn’t even be here if I hadn’t. That’s something I think about a lot.”

Jesse Buley, senior in child, adult and family services, suffered from anorexia, as well. Buley grew up in the small town of Henderson, Iowa, with about 20 kids in her class. She always felt bigger than other girls, even though she wasn’t. When she made the leap into high school, she started to feel like there was nothing about her that was unique.

During basketball season of her freshman year, Buley started working out more after practice. She would watch what she ate more and then eventually started skipping meals. Her anorexia continued through track season. Buley found the one thing that made her different.

“I was the skinniest. That’s what made me stand out, which wasn’t a good thing,” Buley said.

Just like Brower, Buley’s relationships fell apart.

“A lot of my relationships were completely different. I didn’t talk about things with anybody. I was really cut off. I was just totally and completely consumed by it. That’s all I thought about. That’s all I did or cared about. I didn’t care about what other people were doing,” Buley said.

One night after a track meet her freshman year, Buley had a breakdown. She confided in her mom and admitted she needed help.

“All I knew is that I didn’t feel good. I felt hopeless and didn’t have any energy. I purposely missed my call for the open 800 race because I didn’t feel like I could run because I had no energy. I think that really upset me because that’s not in my character,” Buley said.

Buley and her mom decided that a therapist who specialized in eating disorders was the best option for her. She saw the therapist twice a week, but like most people with eating disorders, was very resistant to getting better. She was afraid to eat more calories than her brain was telling her to. 

Brower and Buley still struggle with negative thoughts about food and their bodies every day, but have found healthy ways to cope. Their support groups are also a key factor in the two’s successes.

“It’s still a struggle every single day of my life. But I know how to cope with it. If I get stressed I do deep breathing or go for a walk or jog. I couldn’t get through it without my friends and family,” Brower said.

Buley still has negative ways of thinking about food and her body, but she doesn’t participate in unhealthy behaviors anymore.

“You can eat a candy bar every day if you want to. Just stay active. It’s all about balance. If you do eat healthy and stay active … your body will find a healthy weight,” Buley said.

Buley and Brower both strongly suggest therapy for someone struggling with an eating disorder or unhealthy body image. Iowa State offers these resources for students through the counseling services.

“When a student comes into our services we get more info from them and find out what would be most helpful. In general we offer an explorative assessment, individual therapy and a really popular group therapy program,” said Erin Pederson of the Student Counseling Services.

Buley offered advice to anyone suffering with negative body image.

“It’s hard for anyone to feel like it’s okay to have the body that you have, that your beauty doesn’t come from your body, and your personality and character means more — but it really does. You have so much more to offer than how you look.”