Movie reviews on the fly

Gabriel Stoffa

Alright movie goers, fall semester may be filled with books and tests and other terrible things that involve effort, so here are some films to keep you sane until spring semester:

Piranha 3-D

Aug. 20

Ridiculous horror remakes tend to be entertaining, dumb, but entertaining — check out the original from 1978. I wouldn’t rush out to see this one, but if you’re bored, it may be OK.

Lottery Ticket

Aug. 20

This movie looks to be one of the most god-awful comedies to come out for the year, so, naturally, I expect some people to enjoy it — then again, some people also like NASCAR.

The American

Sept. 1

George Clooney as an assassin, need I say more? Well, the potential love story might make this less entertaining, so opening weekend is probably unneeded.


Sept. 3

Lots of action and cheesy situations will make this an entertaining time for those who enjoy cult-style films. Not worth rushing out, but a midnight show should be fun.


Sept. 17

M. Night Shyamalan wrote this, so expect some “what a twist” moments that will try to hold together a story that probably won’t be worth the effort. Despite this, Shyamalan is like a drug, so it’ll be hard not to go during the first week just so someone can’t ruin the surprise ending — like all of those jerks out there that revealed Bruce Willis was dead all through “The Sixth Sense,” whoops, my bad.

Waiting for ‘Superman’

Sept. 24

Yes, yes, I know, documentaries are not most people’s cup of tea, but in this case please hear me out. This has the potential to be the biggest documentary since “Bowling for Columbine.”

The Social Network

Oct. 1

Everybody uses Facebook, so a movie about its creation will make for many wall postings about opinions. Worth seeing the opening week.

Nowhere Boy

Oct. 8

The Beatles were awesome, so I think a movie about John Lennon’s youth sounds like a good time. This could epic fail, or could be amazing. Movies about musicians seem to only run the extremes of good and bad, so this is worth the gamble of viewing.


Oct. 15

A working mother puts herself through law school in an effort to represent her brother, who has been wrongfully convicted of murder and has exhausted his chances to appeal his conviction through public defenders. The buzz is, this will be Sam Rockwell’s shot at an Oscar; I’ll see it just to find out if it will be.

Jackass 3-D

Oct. 15

Why this is in 3-D, I do not know — OK, fine, I do know, but that doesn’t mean I like it. Regardless, the other “Jackass” movies were funny and mindless, so this will be a fine date movie or night out with your friends.


Oct. 15

Helen Mirren shoots people with a sniper rifle — I would go just to see that. To sweeten the deal, you get Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Brian Cox, Mary-Louise Parker, Richard Dreyfuss and Ernest Borgnine, all joining in with lots of guns and explosions and funny dialogue. If this thing isn’t awesome, I may stop watching movies altogether.


Oct. 22

These movies are stupid. The first one was pretty obvious, and the rest of them are a complete waste of time. If people stop going, maybe they will stop making these things — I realize my hopes of the demise of the “Saw” franchise are in vain.

The Company Men

Oct. 22

A movie about trying to make it despite corporate downsizing should really hit base with a lot of viewers. I smell some more Oscar potential.


Nov. 5

This stands to be the coolest animated movie of the year in regards to story and entertainment. Easily watchable opening weekend.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I

Nov. 19

Everyone is already planning to see this. I can’t wait.

Love and Other Drugs

Nov. 26

I hear the Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway sex scene is funny, and the rest of the movie is supposed to be solid. Worth seeing opening weekend.

TRON: Legacy

Dec. 17

The sci-fi movie of the year. Cult fans and newcomers alike should enjoy this. I mean come on, Daft Punk is producing the soundtrack.

Little Fockers

Dec. 24

I really hope this is the end of the franchise, not because they are bad, but because I don’t want them to get bad. This will be a fine movie to go to in order to get away from your family after opening presents.


Dec. 24

Another Sofia Coppola written and directed piece about finding yourself. I dig her movies, and I think this is going to be another “Lost in Translation,” so I’m in opening weekend.

Gulliver’s Travels

Dec. 24

This was a cool book when I was little, so hopefully it will be a neat movie — I won’t hold my breath though. Maybe go if you’ve already watched the rest of the good releases during the holidays.

The Green Hornet

Jan. 14

I really hope the release date doesn’t change. This movie is going to be funny and cool and definitely worth going to the midnight release.