Artist: Jack’s Mannequin

Album: “The Glass Passenger”

Release: Sept. 30

Label: Sire Records

A few witty turns of phrase and a rudimentary understanding of musical theory do not make a good CD. In fact, combined with what can only be termed as the most awkward key change in modern record music history, the new Jack’s Mannequin album, “The Glass Passenger,” is vaguely awful.

The truly sad thing is that each song contains some tiny moment of fragile beauty. Frontman singer-keyboardist Andrew McMahon is a decent piano player, which implies that he has to have some knowledge of how a logical, or even tolerable, musical progression should sound.

Unfortunately, it seems as though McMahon slept through his intro to music theory class, awakening only to hear that certain notes should compliment each other occasionally, and snoozed on blissfully, drooling on himself during the “key change” portion of the lesson. The resulting chaos is an aural maelstrom punctuated occasionally by a 10-second piano solo that is decidedly romantic in flavor, or the infusion of his rough baritone vocals.

While the lyrics contain enough metaphor to classify them above the average indie-pop, “Miss California’s” lyrics “I’m gonna take you to the mansion where I hide/and I’m going to paint a diamond on your head/you will be my bride/you’ll be my Miss Miss California/you’ll be kissed by only me” is just one example of why most of the album ends up sounding like the last soft alternative rock anthem just waiting to be released on the lonely 30- to 40-year-old set.

This album is a flop, but it might merit a participation ribbon.

Artist: Robin Thicke

Album: “Something Else”

Release Date: Sept. 30

Label: Interscope

It’s difficult to criticize the new Robin Thicke CD — even though there are certainly many opportunities to do so, considering his contrived falsetto vocals, or the fact that a white guy in a suit is attempting to recreate sexy music to rival Barry White’s.

However, the CD is exactly what it says it will be: music for people who long to return to the ‘70s and jam out to the Partridge Family and Rod Stewart while reminiscing about Nixon’s presidency.

Thicke draws heavily on a Michael Jackson influence that he says is the “epitome of celebration” which might explain the ridiculous dance moves he’s executing on the front cover of the album.

The album is full of the synchronized brass section that made disco famous, while not quite making it to that “let’s-dance-like-fools” beats that characterized the whole era.

So, if you want to dress up as John Travolta this Halloween, this might be the perfect CD to play while drive your pimped out muscle car — complete with purple fuzzy dice — to that frat party you’re planning on crashing.

Artist: Rachel Yamagata

Album: “Elephants… Teeth Sinking Into Heart”

Release Date: Oct. 7

Label: Warner Brothers

This two-CD release is easily the most heart-wrenching foray into relationships that’s been released in the last decade.

Rachel Yamagata’s smooth alto vocals are reminiscent of Fiona Apple’s dramatic crooning, and the subject matter makes the comparison all the more apt.

Each song contains a cleverly-worded kernel of truth about love, loss and heartbreak. Yamagata’s voice ranges from a soft throaty whisper, to a grinding raw Janis Joplin-esque slide with occasional operatically executed high notes all the while staying in key — something virtually unheard of in today’s pop music culture.

“Duet’s” beginning lyrics “Oh lover, hold on/’til I come back again/for these arms are growin’ tired and my tales are wearing thin/if you’re patient, I will suprise/when you wake up, I’ll have come,” eventually transports the listener into a dreamy place that is usually reserved for warm half-melted chocolate chip cookies and a tall glass of milk.

Word to the wise boyfriends, or wannabe boyfriends, buy this for your girlfriend, it will get you into her good graces faster than swearing that you want to watch “The Notebook” ever will.

Artist: John McLaughlin

Album: “OK Now”

Release date: Oct. 7

Label: Island

If John Mayer had a little sister who loved Maroon 5, Jon McLaughlin would have been the junior high Paramore who she tried to start a band with. Unfortunately, McLaughlin has gone on to attempt to make a lucrative career with the same shtick as Mayer, and Jason Mraz, and James Blunt, Howie Day, Ryan Cabrera, Josh Groban … well, you get the idea. He doesn’t have the pipes or charisma to compete.

One thing that McLaughlin can do is sing a convincing love song — however poorly executed. “Things That You Say” is perfectly executed sassy sweetness. “I’m not a fool/I know all the rules/you can’t trick me, get one by me/there’s nothing I haven’t seen before/how can you be sure you’re the only one who’s working an angle tonight.”

He does have a passably good voice and an ear for major chord tonality. But that just makes him another pop musician waiting for his one-hit wonder to make it onto “The Hills” soundtrack and claim the hearts of 15-year-olds everywhere.

If you’re looking for the same ho-hum thing you’ve been inundated with for the past five years on MTV, feel free to pick this album up.