Pick up the remote, it’s hockey highlights

Kyle Moss

This is by far my favorite time of year when it comes to sports. Every night as I’m winding down and every morning before I leave for class, I love to watch the best and most addicting television show in sports, ESPN’s SportsCenter.

The reason I love it so much during this dead of winter is because there isn’t crap to do outside, so I find myself inside following the sports I love like the NBA, college hoops, golf, the NFL playoffs and now the Super Bowl.

If you’re wondering why I’m leaving out a prominent winter sport, it’s because I am. It’s my only complaint of winter sports, and it’s the reason I find myself flipping to MTV during certain segments of “SportsCenter.”

That sport is hockey.

It’s not that I don’t like hockey. It’s fun to play, it’s fun to get drunk and watch in person and it’s fun to see the fights and big hits, but hockey itself is one of the most boring sports.

It’s the only professional sport where there are still frequent ties, except of course for soccer, but that’s a whole other column by itself. But there is overtime in hockey along with ties. So what is the point to having overtime if it doesn’t lead to a victorious team?

Hockey is one of the lowest scoring of all the professional sports yet the games are some of the longest. The three 20-minute periods in hockey equal the same length of a four-quarter NFL game.

But the excitement and intensity of watching a football team drive down the field trying to score is a much easier way to occupy an hour than watching 10 guys ice skate around a small rink trying to score one point.

Some would argue that the only reason NFL games are higher scoring is because scores are worth two points, three points and six points. But football has exciting plays leading up to scores and many different ways to score. Hockey has maybe a pass or two and then one swipe of the stick – and that’s your highlight.

Recently I accidentally sat through some hockey highlights long enough to see that when they show team’s records, there is a fourth number. For example a team could be sitting at 22-21-8-54.

One of the most asked questions I hear when watching “SportsCenter” with people is “What the hell is that fourth number?”

Well the fourth number is a point total that teams build up by doing things such as scoring goals, winning overtime games, blah blah blah, who really cares?

The point is, not only is hockey the odd ball out when it comes to professional sports because of its ties and all the ice, it’s got this fourth number which, if the same principles were applied to football, the Rams would already be Super Bowl champions.

I learned a long time ago that no one listens to me about anything, but I came up with some ways to possibly make hockey, specifically the NHL, more exciting anyway.

The obvious things is that hockey games should be shorter, and there should always be a winner. If the game is tied, they should let the benches fight it out. Ratings would go up and a team would always emerge victorious.

Another idea is to make the goal bigger. When you take a goalie and dress him up in all those pads, he takes up most of the goal. People will argue that it takes skill to score through the little space provided – well then hockey players aren’t skilled enough because there isn’t near enough goals scored.

They could make the rink bigger. I’m not talking like the size of a soccer field – which is way too big – just make it so a hockey player has a little more space to make cooler plays before a defenseman gets to him.

Get some more appealing stars in the league. Wayne Gretzky was cool and Mario Lemieux is impressive in his comeback, but where’s the personality?

Watching an interview with a hockey player is about as exciting as an interview with a politician – no one cares what they have to say unless they’re talking about fights or a war.

In order to cover my ass, I will admit that hockey players are tough as hell and could definitely kick the crap out of me. I just want someone to convince me that watching an entire hockey game is exciting.

If someone can do that, I can show them how watching a day of golf can be exciting. All I need is some alcohol.

Kyle Moss is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.