When Alien Ant Farm released its cover of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal” this summer, it was somewhat appropriate. With yet another Michael comeback on the horizon, the song sort of got people excited for the King of Pop once again.

But when Michael did come back recently, all he really did was scare the hell out of me.

First of all, he organized giant tribute concerts to himself – which just about made me puke. And, according to MTV.com, when the tribute airs on TV, many of the celebrities such as Britney Spears and Destiny’s Child won’t even make the air. Most of what you get will be Michael and the Jackson 5.

In his short film video for “You Rock My World,” Michael is just plain unnerving.

Everyone has gotten over that he is more white than any white person, but what the hell is wrong with his face now? With his hat pulled down low in the video, he resembles a cross between a mouse, a corpse and that freaky looking dude from the movie “Hannibal.”

To make things worse in the video, he is pimpin’ a woman – who I definitely feel sorry for. And this super-scrawny King of Pop plays a tough guy who actually beats up the “bad guys” of the video.

It’s funny how obsessed he is with making himself seem so cool with tribute shows and unrealistic videos, yet he seems so uncomfortable to be in the public eye.

Even if you look past all of that corny, unrealistic bull of the video, give the song a good listen.

The music is OK, but his voice is nothing but air. After every line he sings, listen for that trademark breath he takes – “ahh.” Pay attention; it will drive you up the wall.

Take all of these things, throw in allegations of child abuse, a one-time, obviously fake marriage to Lisa Marie Presley, an oddly close relationship with the not-so-normal Elizabeth Taylor and a weird obsession with animals and what to do you have? The King of Pop.

That’s pretty sad.

At least the King of Rock `n’ Roll went out an overweight alcoholic with a dependency on prescription drugs. I suppose anything beats being that good of friends with Elizabeth Taylor.

So what does all this mean? Should someone de-throne Michael of his King of Pop status?

I do take into consideration that he is a pioneer of pop music and began making great music before most of us were even alive. But you can’t ignore someone’s freakishness just because of what he or she did in the past.

What’s even more scary is the state of pop music – there is no one to fill the King’s shoes. I thought “Pop” was actually a good song, but ‘N Sync’s newest song, “Gone,” is one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard.

And it’s not like Britney could ever take over as the Queen of Pop; her latest song, “I’m a Slave 4 U,” is so bad it has her on the fast track to Playboy stardom in a few short years.

The Backstreet Boys are out of the question for being the Kings as well because of A.J.’s little alcohol problem.

Bad Backstreet Boy.

In other words, pop music is screwed. Which is fine because it doesn’t look like rock is going to die as fast as everyone said it would. And Slipknot is well on its way to taking over the world.

The only hope for pop being saved is my boys – Ames’ own Mr. Plow. They’ve been in Los Angeles for the past six months secretly becoming the world’s next big boy band. They will change their name to the Plowstreet Boys and take the world by storm.

Just wait and see.

Kyle Moss is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale. He was lying about Mr. Plow.