Last weekend in Quebec the world was presented with a familiar scene: Rich, old men in suits meet, make decisions that decide the fate of the entire free world, and then hop in their BMWs and Mercedes and head home to accumulate more wealth.

These people came here to negotiate the Free Trade Area of the Americas, an agreement that lifts protections and tariffs on imports and exports among every country between Canada and Argentina, creating the largest “free trade” zone the world has ever seen.

Basically, FTAA is nothing more than a big brother to the North American Free Trade Agreement. And we all know what an overwhelming success NAFTA has been.

What can be better than an expansion of NAFTA? As you know, NAFTA (from the Latin word Naftinus, meaning sodomized with an oil can), is a devastating and undemocratic treaty that puts power over sovereign nations into the hands of powerful and wealthy transnational corporations.

Since NAFTA made its wonderful appearance over six years ago, more than 1 million U.S. jobs have been lost due to corporations relocating to Mexico. And it hasn’t exactly helped out those eager Mexicans either, as nearly 8 million Mexicans have fallen from the middle class into poverty.

And now, instead of just being able to pack up and head down to Mexico when profits remain stagnant at $800 gazillion, powerful corporations can now go down to Argentina, Nicaragua or Honduras and pay 15-year-old girls to stitch together a pair of khaki pants.

Basically, every nation in North America, with the exception of Cuba, will be open territory for these wandering corporations. It seems those commies are always spoiling everybody’s party.

Back to Quebec, where these “negotiations” took place. For such an important and far-reaching document, one that has the potential to affect nearly every living person in North America, the negotiators sure were pretty secret about it.

The entire draft of the document was, and still remains, off-limits to the public. And to keep out those nasty “anti-capitalist” hippies (union workers, students, rational citizens), the event’s coordinators decided to erect a $30 million, 10-foot tall, 2.4 mile long metal and concrete security fence.

Throw in 6,000 security guards and extra beds in the local prison, and you’ve got the largest security operation in Canadian history.

That wall was actually quite symbolic. This agreement, which supporters claim will enhance democracy and prosperity to all countries involved, was being negotiated closed-doors behind a giant wall, drowning out the voices of anyone with a reason to protest this undemocratic proposal, whether they be organized labor or student activists with a conscience.

The event’s sponsors consisted of a handful of corporate executives who were deeply involved with these negotiations, while not one labor advisory group was invited, or even allowed, to these events.

The FTAA sounds all warm and fuzzy when you hear its supporters talk about it. It claims to be an outlet for the advancement of democracy and free-market capitalism throughout the hemisphere and to help out consumers by lowering trade barriers to get them a greater variety of products at more affordable prices.

In reality, though, the FTAA is a lot like a sexy, big-breasted drag queen. At first glance, from a distance, the fancy talk, blond wig and neat-looking parts make them look pretty hot, but take a closer look and feel around a bit, and you’ll soon discover things aren’t what they seem.

The FTAA is nothing more than a blatantly pro-business agreement that would allow corporations to weaken labor standards, eliminate environmental laws and undermine a nation’s economic sovereignty.

Much like NAFTA, Chapter 11 of the FTAA includes language that would allow a corporation to sue a member government if a regulation is put in place that hurt profits. This means no new environmental policies or public health and safety initiatives.

NAFTA’s similar language has enabled the U.S.-based Ethyl Corporation to sue Canada before a three-member NAFTA tribunal, claiming that Canada’s ban on MMT, a polluting gasoline additive outlawed in several U.S. states, was hurting profits. Canada was forced to drop the ban and pay the company $13 million in lost profits.

Intellectual property rights will also now stiffly apply to all member countries. Pharmaceutical companies have already started attacking the productive efforts of some countries, mainly Brazil, for providing cheap generic versions of AIDS drugs, which will undoubtedly lead to more preventable deaths.

Makes sense if you think about it, though. How many pairs of Nike’s and V-neck Gap sweaters do skinny and dying African kids buy, anyway? Not the greatest consumers in the world, therefore virtually unimportant and irrelevant to big business.

The pockets of corporate executives, the most vile and immoral race on the planet, get deeper and deeper as a result of this agreement, which is basically being conducted in secret.

Concerned citizen groups, the United Nations, organized labor and student activists have not been able to voice their concerns with the FTAA, however legitimate those concerns are.

If Washington’s corporate prostitutes (you know them by their dayjobs, congressmen) pass this agreement, which they probably will, the environment will be threatened, working class families will be left without a source of income, human rights will be further flushed down the drain, and democracy and sovereignty of nations in our hemisphere as we know it will be destroyed.

Human rights should be the chief faculty of any trade agreement, not the mobility of capital and the interests of wealthy corporations.

NAFTA has proven itself a success only to those already positioned at the top of the economic totem pole but has been considered a failure to those who actually count in the grand scheme of things.

NAFTA should not be expanded on – it should be eliminated. By giving it a lethal dose of steroids and calling it FTAA, we are doing nothing but advancing the cause of the one group of people who don’t need advancing.

And after all is said and done, when you take the wig, the high heels and the fake breasts off the drag queen, you’re still left with nothing but a dirty old man.

Tim Paluch is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Orland Park, Ill. He is the wire editor of the Daily. Last weekend in Quebec the world was presented with a familiar scene: Rich, old men in suits meet, make decisions that decide the fate of the entire free world, and then hop in their BMWs and Mercedes and head home to accumulate more wealth.

These people came here to negotiate the Free Trade Area of the Americas, an agreement that lifts protections and tariffs on imports and exports among every country between Canada and Argentina, creating the largest “free trade” zone the world has ever seen.

Basically, FTAA is nothing more than a big brother to the North American Free Trade Agreement. And we all know what an overwhelming success NAFTA has been.

What can be better than an expansion of NAFTA? As you know, NAFTA (from the Latin word Naftinus, meaning sodomized with an oil can), is a devastating and undemocratic treaty that puts power over sovereign nations into the hands of powerful and wealthy transnational corporations.

Since NAFTA made its wonderful appearance over six years ago, more than 1 million U.S. jobs have been lost due to corporations relocating to Mexico. And it hasn’t exactly helped out those eager Mexicans either, as nearly 8 million Mexicans have fallen from the middle class into poverty.

And now, instead of just being able to pack up and head down to Mexico when profits remain stagnant at $800 gazillion, powerful corporations can now go down to Argentina, Nicaragua or Honduras and pay 15-year-old girls to stitch together a pair of khaki pants.

Basically, every nation in North America, with the exception of Cuba, will be open territory for these wandering corporations. It seems those commies are always spoiling everybody’s party.

Back to Quebec, where these “negotiations” took place. For such an important and far-reaching document, one that has the potential to affect nearly every living person in North America, the negotiators sure were pretty secret about it.

The entire draft of the document was, and still remains, off-limits to the public. And to keep out those nasty “anti-capitalist” hippies (union workers, students, rational citizens), the event’s coordinators decided to erect a $30 million, 10-foot tall, 2.4 mile long metal and concrete security fence.

Throw in 6,000 security guards and extra beds in the local prison, and you’ve got the largest security operation in Canadian history.

That wall was actually quite symbolic. This agreement, which supporters claim will enhance democracy and prosperity to all countries involved, was being negotiated closed-doors behind a giant wall, drowning out the voices of anyone with a reason to protest this undemocratic proposal, whether they be organized labor or student activists with a conscience.

The event’s sponsors consisted of a handful of corporate executives who were deeply involved with these negotiations, while not one labor advisory group was invited, or even allowed, to these events.

The FTAA sounds all warm and fuzzy when you hear its supporters talk about it. It claims to be an outlet for the advancement of democracy and free-market capitalism throughout the hemisphere and to help out consumers by lowering trade barriers to get them a greater variety of products at more affordable prices.

In reality, though, the FTAA is a lot like a sexy, big-breasted drag queen. At first glance, from a distance, the fancy talk, blond wig and neat-looking parts make them look pretty hot, but take a closer look and feel around a bit, and you’ll soon discover things aren’t what they seem.

The FTAA is nothing more than a blatantly pro-business agreement that would allow corporations to weaken labor standards, eliminate environmental laws and undermine a nation’s economic sovereignty.

Much like NAFTA, Chapter 11 of the FTAA includes language that would allow a corporation to sue a member government if a regulation is put in place that hurt profits. This means no new environmental policies or public health and safety initiatives.

NAFTA’s similar language has enabled the U.S.-based Ethyl Corporation to sue Canada before a three-member NAFTA tribunal, claiming that Canada’s ban on MMT, a polluting gasoline additive outlawed in several U.S. states, was hurting profits. Canada was forced to drop the ban and pay the company $13 million in lost profits.

Intellectual property rights will also now stiffly apply to all member countries. Pharmaceutical companies have already started attacking the productive efforts of some countries, mainly Brazil, for providing cheap generic versions of AIDS drugs, which will undoubtedly lead to more preventable deaths.

Makes sense if you think about it, though. How many pairs of Nike’s and V-neck Gap sweaters do skinny and dying African kids buy, anyway? Not the greatest consumers in the world, therefore virtually unimportant and irrelevant to big business.

The pockets of corporate executives, the most vile and immoral race on the planet, get deeper and deeper as a result of this agreement, which is basically being conducted in secret.

Concerned citizen groups, the United Nations, organized labor and student activists have not been able to voice their concerns with the FTAA, however legitimate those concerns are.

If Washington’s corporate prostitutes (you know them by their dayjobs, congressmen) pass this agreement, which they probably will, the environment will be threatened, working class families will be left without a source of income, human rights will be further flushed down the drain, and democracy and sovereignty of nations in our hemisphere as we know it will be destroyed.

Human rights should be the chief faculty of any trade agreement, not the mobility of capital and the interests of wealthy corporations.

NAFTA has proven itself a success only to those already positioned at the top of the economic totem pole but has been considered a failure to those who actually count in the grand scheme of things.

NAFTA should not be expanded on – it should be eliminated. By giving it a lethal dose of steroids and calling it FTAA, we are doing nothing but advancing the cause of the one group of people who don’t need advancing.

And after all is said and done, when you take the wig, the high heels and the fake breasts off the drag queen, you’re still left with nothing but a dirty old man.

Tim Paluch is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Orland Park, Ill. He is the wire editor of the Daily.