A pocket dictionary of athletics
January 26, 1999
When covering sports, one encounters many events that serve as perfect illustrations of the meanings of words. With that in mind, I have compiled the following: “sports dictionary.” Though not in alphabetical order, it is a dictionary in the following sense, taken from the American Heritage College Dictionary: “a book listing words or other linguistic items in a particular category or subject with information about them.” In this case, the particular category is sports:
irony: Gary Anderson missing a field goal for the first time in two years, giving the Falcons an opportunity to come back.
monotony: Listening to coaches and players drone on with the same old repeatedly recycled cliches and platitudes.
a breath of fresh air: Players like Jayson Williams, who speak their mind. N – E – T – S, Nets, Nets, Nets!
annoying: Repeated chants of J – E – T – S, Jets, Jets, Jets; the mile high salute, etc.
hated: The Dallas Cowboys, previously, the New York Yankees
bandwagon: Fans who root for the flavor of the month: For example, Cowboys-Packers-Broncos-Vikings-Broncos.
lovable losers: Only one known example: The Chicago Cubs. When’s the last time anybody called the LA Clippers “lovable”?
lack of class: Shannon Sharpe calling Dan Marino a “loser”; excessive celebration on meaningless touchdowns in blowout games, or on commonplace plays like tackling a running back for a two-yard gain, or breaking up a pass.
overrated: A team that gets by on reputation of past years. For example, the University of Iowa men’s basketball team. Also see: Dallas Cowboys
unpopular: The new look New York Knicks, with such crowd pleasers like pothead Marcus Camby, money grubbing union kingpin Patrick Ewing and ever-popular choke artist Latrell Sprewell.
run: A period of total domination, like Michigan State’s 43-8 number on Iowa, which turned a 19-4 deficit into a 47-27 lead, or the 20 straight points on four straight possessions by the Denver Broncos against the New York Jets.
rivalry: Michigan vs. Ohio State in football, ISU – Kansas in women’s basketball, ISU – Iowa in anything.
odd: team nicknames like Horned Frogs and Banana Slugs, of Texas Christian and Cal Poly-SLO respectively.
destruction: (1) Of team: the 1998 Florida Marlins, the 1999 Chicago Bulls. (2) Of entire sport: the 1994 MLB strike, the 1998 NBA lockout
meaningless: Televised golf, pre-season football, early season NBA and NHL games.
overblown: The feud between Dan Reeves, Mike Shanahan, and John Elway. OK, so they don’t like each other. Big deal! Will all those covering the Super Bowl just get over it!
impurity: The supposedly pristine Olympics being rocked by a bribery scandal which involves money, college scholarships, land deals, guns and yes, prostitutes.
implausibility: Tim Floyd’s repeated denials that he was leaving ISU for the Bulls.
lose-lose situation: What Floyd finds himself in with the Bulls.
motormouth: Charles Barkley, Shannon Sharpe.
clever (or not-so-clever) retort: After Doug Flutie complained about the holding and grabbing of the Dolphins defensive backs, Miami cornerback Sam Madison saying: “What is he, five-foot-five?”
favorites (of this columnist): Dolphins, Bulls, Cubs, Cyclones.
escapist entertainment: reading this column.