I live in an apartment building where pets are not allowed.

It is an issue that could steer somebody away from living there. Since I live there, it obviously isn’t the highest item on my priority list. But after living there for just over two months, I wish the restriction didn’t exist. I want to have a pet.

I’ve had some sort of animal companion for some of my childhood years. Despite the litter box duties and suffering through a small allergy battle with animal dander, it had a positive effect on my life. Taking medicine drops under my tongue for about five years was worth having the opportunity to play with my pets.

We had two cats that were my favorites. After breaking them into the family by throwing them across the living room for an afternoon, my brother and I were instantly attached to them. That was the first and last time we ever willingly brought harm against our cats.

Our cats instantly became co-conspirators with my sibling and I in our constant struggle against my parents. We used to trick our cats into clawing off the wrapping paper on our Christmas presents during the second week of December, and pass the buck onto our felines when Mom and Dad came calling for the guilty party.

It was a sad day when we sent our cats to live out on a farm. Despite the claw marks that covered my arms and the rank odor that dominated the litter box area of the basement, I felt like a family member was moving out.

As you can see, I become quickly attached to my pets. It’s easy. A pet, when handled with care, are fast to become a very devoted friend. If only finding a good date could be so easy.

I’m serious! Good luck finding any person, man or woman, that will become a devoted loved one with such swiftness. It just doesn’t happen. It’s almost frustrating how easy it is to woo one certain species, yet struggle so hard to impress another. Especially the one that matters most.

Dating has definitely become one of the more dangerous sports out there. People just don’t trust each other anymore. Of course, how could a girl trust a guy that tells her that her jeans would look great on his floor? It’s not always like that, but it is a part of some people’s game plan. People are wary of everybody.

If only you could implement some of the ways of developing a relationship with your pet into forming a relationship with a human being of the opposite sex. They work for animals, could they work for people?

Unfortunately, the answer is more often than not a negative one. For example, how many girls could I keep around simply by putting out food and water in a bowl for them? I haven’t done any research to support my answer, but I feel it wouldn’t work. Of course, if it did work, I would be a little shocked and really scared.

And how many girls would chase after a stick that I continually throw across the yard? Or keep themselves occupied with a piece of yarn when I don’t want to be bothered? Or don’t feel self-conscious about licking me to show affection? My pets would do these things, but I’d give five to one odds against a girl doing the same. Safe bet?

If only you could implement the devotion of a pet into the personalities of human beings. It might clear up any misunderstandings or mixed signals that come with getting to know a significant other. Trust is there, suspicion isn’t.

When did loyalty become so passe? You do something nice for a dog, and they respond by being true to you. You do something nice for a person, and they wonder what you are up to. I don’t want to be a real ass to a girl that I’d like to go out with, but it’s practically the only way to get the message across to her. And for some reason, people seem to like it that way.

I’m making dating in this day and age out to be utter hell. It’s really not that bad. When you compare it to the communities in the southwest United States during the days of colonization, it’s a breeze. Back then, men had to sponsor dances just to get the opportunity to court a woman.

Also, grandparents had a huge part in deciding if a man was right for a woman. I thought it was hard enough getting my parents to like girls that I dated, but this would incorporate persuading up to four other adults that the person you are with is actually all right.

I’m not saying you should abandon any potential dates for a Chihuahua. But if I tell a girl that she’s definitely not a dog, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m giving her a compliment.

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Christopher Clair is a senior in journalism mass communication from Waukon.