Rows of students were waiting for doctor’s orders in the Great Hall of the Memorial Union on Wednesday evening. This doctor was here to prescribe dating advice.

David Coleman, otherwise known as the “Dating Doctor,” has done studies on how to make relationships matter and speaks to college campuses nationwide about healthy relationships and dating advice.

“You will not find the right person until you are the right person,” Coleman said.

Coleman talked about the self-doubt that enters a person’s mind when they see someone attractive but tell themselves they aren’t good enough for them. Coleman said that self-doubt needs to go.

“You’re a catch,” Coleman said. “That’s your new mantra.”

He went on to address midnight texts that say, “Hey, what’s up?” Coleman said that if there is any doubt of where the relationship stands, stay out of their room.

The culture of consent is something that campuses are trying to change and you are never to assume you have someone’s consent, Coleman said. If partners are under the influence, they are also not able to give or take consent.

Coleman provided other sources of advice, talking about the first four things you look for in the first five minutes of meeting someone you’re interested in. These are attraction, believability, chemistry and desire of the person.

“You don’t need a project, you need someone long-term in your life,” Coleman said.

The three types of love in order to get to that point in your life include eros love, or physical attraction; agape love, or love that grows stronger over time and philia love, or enjoying time as friends.

He also talked about breakups. The four top times for breakups are after Thanksgiving, after Valentine’s Day, after Spring Break and before summer vacation.

Coleman developed his own post-breakup recovery ratio. Allow two weeks to heal for every month of the relationship and two months for every year of the relationship.

He also said to keep your distance after a breakup and have no contact with the ex if it is avoidable. The doctor also said to remain active to keep your mind off what your ex may be up to.

These all apply to whether you broke up with them or they broke up with you. Always exit the relationship on your own terms, Coleman said. Tell your ex what you think without that being laced with emotion.

Coleman said someone controls every single relationship.

“The person who loves, cares or tries the least has the most control,” Coleman said. “If your significant other believes in their heart if they disrespect you, you will leave, they won’t do it, Coleman said.

Faculty vocalized their appreciation for the Dating Doctor’s visit. 

“I think anytime you can bring light to unhealthy relationships is a positive thing for our students,” said Courtney Clippert-Treadwell, staff psychologist for Student Counseling Services.

Clippert said many signs of an unhealthy relationship exist.

This can include abuse of any kind, playing mind games, getting upset when someone doesn’t drop everything for him or her, lack of respect, being put down in public, cheating and controlling behavior.

Clippert-Treadwell said jealousy and feedback from friends and family when they notice a significant other doesn’t value someone is also an indicator of an unhealthy relationship.

“The advice I would give to students is to have clear expectations,” Clippert-Treadwell said.

These expectations apply in all relationships, including with friends and roommates. Clippert-Treadwell said expressing needs and wants and finding a balance between different relationships with friends, family and significant others is key to maintain healthy relationships.

Sponsors for the event included Alpha Delta Pi, the event management club, human development family services club and Student Government’s committee on lectures.

“Hopefully he will bring awareness to college campuses about what unhealthy relationships are and how to create dialogue on healthy relationships and respecting those relationships,” said Anne Deutsch, junior in industrial engineering and organizer of the lecture.