1. Your stomach thinks all potato is mashed.

2. If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.

3. What if the Egyptians didn’t actually revere cats, but only jokingly did like we do on the internet?

4. Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions.

5. Killing a spider makes the spider genetic pool sneakier and more deadly.

6. The only time the word incorrectly isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.

7. Makeup is allowed in beauty pageants yet steroids aren’t allowed in sports.

8. They should grow super big cucumbers so we can have pickle slices that cover our entire hamburgers.

9. The difference between being a drop in the ocean and a unique snowflake is how cool you are.

10. Humans have a 16 hour battery life, on average.

11. Somewhere out there, there is a bottle of Cesar salad dressing with an expiration date of March 15th.

12. If Jimmy John’s wanted to open an upscale version of their restaurant, they could call it “James Johnathan’s.”

13. Instagram would be a great nickname for a drug dealer.

14. Do caterpillars know they will be butterflies or do they just build the cocoon and wake up like woah what happened?

15. Pizza is always a pie chart about how much pizza is left.

16. The phrase “hanging up the phone” has lost its significance.

Compiled from www.reddit.com/r/ShowerThoughts