Everyone enjoys a quality film, particularly if it incorporates a worthwhile lesson or two that can be applied to one’s own life. If movies often present incomplete portrayals of reality, should we be so eager to learn values from them? In general, probably not, although there is one exception: romantic comedies. I personally feel that romantic comedies, affectionately called “rom-coms,” present the purest life lessons in all of cinema, particularly regarding romantic relationships.

Romantic comedies have the purpose of reminding people who are not completely satisfied with their love lives that there is hope left in the world, and that all relationships progress by following a well-known set of rules. In particular, here are some of the lessons that I would advise single women in particular to learn from romantic comedies.

First, you should expect that someday, someone will come along and sweep you off your feet. This will happen without any effort from you. Essentially, all real romance is completely unexpected. So unless your partner constantly surprises you, the romance is gone. Move on to someone more unpredictable.

Even though your ex, boss, parent or any other prominent person in your life might be a jerk, your soul mate will undoubtedly come along and rescue you from him or her, and that person will finally leave you alone for good, treat you with respect or die. Your future better half may, or may not, confront that person directly, but at some point having this man in your life will finally give you enough validation that you have the power to stop letting people do mean things to you.

Deep down every man is an ass, except the one you are meant to be with, and maybe your father or that person you occasionally visit who is very old, young or disadvantaged somehow. All other men who seem decent when you interact with them are almost certainly hiding motives that are completely selfish and evil. Luckily, this will eventually be revealed to you when they lose their temper, you catch them in the act or they think you are unable to do anything about it.

Do not be surprised to learn that your best friend was the right one for you all along. Luckily, transitioning from friends to lovers is basically instantaneous once you come to your senses and tell your friend how sorry you are for how long it took you to realize this. However, if your best friend is not the one you are destined to be with but has always secretly loved you, he will only confess his love to you. Of course, this will only occur during an overly emotional outburst, and only once you have already met the right person. At first they will be very upset that you are not also in love with them, but soon enough they will see how happy you are and will go back to being your BFF.

Likewise, you should be aware that no matter how perfect your true love is, initially you will probably be too stubborn to recognize how he conveniently meets every single one of your needs. More than likely you will figure this out during a revelation that occurs right before he leaves forever, goes to war, gets married to a horrible person or has sex with your promiscuous friend. For some reason men find it very romantic when you confess your love at the last possible second, especially when you are crying uncontrollably and you look like a complete mess.

Unfortunately, in some cases there will be two suitors that present equally attractive choices, and you will become torn between them. This is not a problem, because they will wait as long as it takes for you to decide who is the better option. Luckily, men are not ever in this position themselves, so you are realistically the only choice they have. Most of the time this is because they want you so much that it will take a very long time for them to even think about any other woman romantically. To them, fawning over you is never a waste of time, even if they could miss the chance to meet someone who is a better match for them and who actually wants to commit while you string them along and remain indecisive.

Truly, romantic comedies are profoundly great representations of real love, and I would not hesitate to say that some resemble actual romance so well that they might be better categorized as documentary films. Regardless of their classification, by presenting such in-depth insight into the process of falling in love, rom-coms have surely brought ease to many unsatisfied women everywhere. Hopefully men are smart enough to learn what women want and recognize this amazing source of knowledge, making sure to use it to make the woman of their dreams fall madly in love with them. Unless they are the awkward best friends who always end up alone.

Sorry, man.