Monthly movie mania : August edition
August 1, 2013
Welcome to the school year!
Now, I’m not saying you should avoid your classes and go to the movies instead…
But really, grades aren’t important in the long term. Whether or not you saw “Elysium” on opening night is. Here is my monthly preview article for movies to look out for in August.
If you have a suggestion for a better name for this monthly article, feel free to shoot me an email and the best one will be picked for September and onward. (No reward money shall be granted).
Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington are two actors who I rarely like at the exact same time. Mark’s last movie “Pain & Gain” was surprisingly amazing, while Denzel’s last movie “Flight” (which had great acting), felt a bit pretentious and deceptive. Either way, placing these two veteran actors in the action comedy “2 Guns” seems like a great idea. Sure, in a few months we will probably forget this movie completely, but for now, it will provide ample entertainment for a night.
If you aren’t at least a little bit excited about “Elysium,” then I am not sure where you were four years ago or if you have ever heard of Neill Blomkamp. Neill is famous for directing “District 9,” wowing everyone around the world, and he is back with his second film ever. Now we have another original sci-fi epic, this time with an actor people have heard of, Matt Damon. Really, the only thing that bugs me is this line from the trailer. “The Privileged live on Elysium…The Rest of Us, Live on Earth.” What? Screw you movie trailer, I would totally be with the privileged. Don’t lump me with the 99% right off the back.
Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters 8/09/13 (Trailer)
I wasn’t able to see the first “Percy Jackson” in theaters. In fact, I thought the initial trailer looked kind of dumb. Never heard of the book, never cared. But when I finally watched it on Blu-Ray, I loved it despite its flaws. The characters were great, and more importantly, a son of Zeus wasn’t the main protagonist in a Greek Mythology film for once. “Sea Of Monsters” looks to give us another unique(ish) tale. With Logan Lerman still at the helm, arguably one of the better young actors out there, it will probably be a great film for the whole family. Yes, even Grandpa Joe.
No. Just no. Make it stop. Sigh. Okay. In my opinion “Cars” was a pretty poor example of a Pixar movie, and it suggested bad morals for kids. “Cars 2” was a clear cash grab for Pixar, but it was much worse than the original. “Planes” is a spin-off that takes place in the “Cars” world, but it was made by Disney with no Pixar involvement and an even greater cash grab than the first. From the trailer, it appears to use the same lazy writing that I ranted about in “Turbo,” while offering nothing new. I might be actively hoping this movie bombs.
Kick-Ass 2 08/16/13 (Trailer)
My mind exploded with awesome the first time I saw “Kick-Ass” in theaters. In fact, I thought it was actually better than the source material. Which is why I am completely okay with “Kick-Ass 2” coming out, no longer taking its storyline from a graphic novel. Jim Carrey looks like he is in prime form, despite pulling out support of the film for completely ridiculous reasons. Basically everything I could like in a movie, including interesting action sequences (involving minors) and witty one liners. Although it is bound to give the censorship committee fits, I can’t wait to watch and review this flick.
One of the more shocking casting decisions of 2012 came from the announcement that former “Punk’d” host Ashton Kutcher would be playing Steve Jobs in his upcoming biopic. Can this prankster actually give a serious enough performance to honor a man who has changed technology forever? After watching the trailer, he might actually do it justice. It’d be interesting to learn about the beginnings of Apple, and the relationship that Jobs had with Steve Wozniak. After all, my only other source of knowledge about these men came from snippets of the short lived show “Code Monkeys.”
The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones 08/23/13 (Trailer)
I will be the first to admit I don’t know every teenager book of the week. “Twilight,” “Hunger Games,” “Divergent.” Really, I wouldn’t know or care about these if they weren’t made into movies. Which is the exact same thing I will say about “The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones.” So forgive me for not jumping out of my boots with excitement, when the trailer honestly looks like more of the same. Young person finds out that something supernatural is real, that person becomes important to saving the world, and probably falls in love at the same time. Perfect. This movie will make a lot of money. Whether it offers anything new, I really couldn’t tell you, but I will allow myself to be surprised.
The World’s End 08/23/13 (Trailer)
Did you know that “The World’s End” was officially part of a trilogy? Sure, you may have noticed that Edgar Wright also directed both “Shaun of the Dead” and “Hot Fuzz,” with all three movies starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, but you probably just assumed they always worked together. Nope! It is totally a trilogy, “The Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy“. I’d explain that more, but it is British and thus inherently confusing — plus, they spelled flavors wrong. Given the similarities of everything except for plot, your probability of seeing this film matches how much you liked the other two films in the “trilogy.”
The first minute into the “Getaway” trailer, I was excited. Hell, it had Ethan Hawke, who has been having an amazing summer with success in “The Purge” and “Before Midnight.” Why not an action movie as well? It looks like a typical kidnapping/blackmail movie, a guy who just wants to save his wife at any cost, while also including some exciting chase scenes. Then it all changes. Then they introduce Selena Gomez as a “car thief from the streets” trying to look intimidating. But she doesn’t look intimidating at all. It looks comical. I don’t hate Selena Gomez, but from the trailer alone it looks like she was miscast completely and will probably ruin this movie.
One Direction: This Is Us 08/30/13 (Trailer)
Speaking of pop stars, it wouldn’t be a complete summer without a 3D Concert movie from an artist/group that teenagers can’t get enough of. Starting from 2009, we have “Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience,” “Kenny Chesney: Summer In 3D,” “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never,” “Katy Perry: Part Of Me,” and now “One Direction: This Is Us.” Alright, maybe Kenny Chesney is a stretch, but the 3D Summer Concert experience is apparently a thing that is here to stay, so we have to grin and bear it. I am looking forward to this one, only because they are British and these movies have actually been getting better with each iteration. For all I know, this could be a hidden Oscar gem.
As this guide is merely a preview, make sure you check back every week for reviews on all these movies and more. After all, sometimes you’d be better off saving your last $10 on Harry Potter fanfiction instead.
