Doerzman: Living by the Golden Rule

Kevin Doerzman

We can all conjure up an instance where we could have acted differently in a situation. Perhaps we weren’t as attentive as we could have been or as kind as we could have been. At some point in our lives we may have heard the Golden Rule, either in school, church, or from our parents. The Golden Rule states: Treat others as you’d want to be treated. It’s the epitomizing statement regarding reciprocity in all forms. For my purposes, I’d like to use it as a cornerstone for reciprocal kindness. Perhaps we often overlook the power of simple acts of kindness. Yet, there are those out there trying their hardest to shine the light of kindness onto their fellow person.

I often find it takes less energy to be kind and do the right thing than it does to be unkind. It takes a lot of energy, I find, to overtly express meanness in a specific way. There are a number of simple things one can do to show kindness and brighten someone’s day. The easiest thing one could possibly do is hold the door for someone or smile at people passing by. You’d be surprised how wonderful those simple, effortless gestures can make someone feel.

Research from Dr. David R. Hamilton shows that being kind can have amazing effects on our health. For instance, kindness often times comes with the feeling of emotional warmth which helps to release a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin is associated with feelings of social recognition, sexual reproduction, nurturing, etc. It’s often referred to as the “love hormone.” When oxytocin is released during acts of kindness it produces a chemical called nitric oxide which helps to reduce blood pressure. Oxytocin also helps to reduce free radicals and inflammation, two sources of aging.

Acts of kindness can make us feel good and make us happier. If we know that we did something to help a friend or a stranger have a better day it could make us feel better. It’s possible to form better friendships and general relationships from being nice to one another. In most cases, doing something nice for someone else, say washing the dishes or taking out the trash, can elicit a reciprocation of kindness. You don’t have to know the person to do something nice for them. Acting amicably towards friends, family, and other people you care about is part of an unwritten mutual agreement. A real test of one’s kindness is to do a good deed for the sake of helping someone out.

Unfortunately, people don’t always treat each other with respect and compassion. The most extreme example is through terrorism or war. A less violent example might be purposefully shutting the door behind you when someone you know is approaching or creating an elaborate rumor to post on your social networking site of choice to undermine someone’s reputation. Life is too short to brood about wrongdoings, hold grudges against past friends and/or create enemies. If it’s as simple as that, one can easily repair a broken relationship and make a stronger bond.

Sometimes our ethic of kindness is overlooked or forgotten because we assume that someone else might step up to the plate. In psychology, this is referred to as the bystander effect and happens all the time. It occurs on trivial matters and even occurs in life or death situations, in the famous case of Kitty Genovese who was murdered in New York while 38 neighbors looked on. She was stabbed twice before one neighbor yelled down to the attacker to leave her alone. The attacker, Winston Moseley, returned about 10 minutes later to find Kitty in a hallway almost unconscious. He proceeded to stab her multiple times and rape her before she died. The theory is that the neighbors assumed that someone else would help or phone the police, but there were no calls to the police until after Kitty had died.

While this is an extreme case, it shows the consequences of neglect for humanity. Instead, I urge everyone to take initiative and do something kind for someone else. Put your negativity and pessimism behind you and forgive others their trespasses. Life isn’t nearly long enough to hold onto things with an iron grip. It’s important that we learn to show compassion to our fellow person and strengthen our bonds with mankind. Do something for a friend, family member or even a stranger to help make their day better and help out when you see something going wrong. You’ll feel better about yourself and make someone else very happy.


Kevin Doerzman is a sophomore in psychology from Burlington, Iowa.