The first time I related coffee and talking was when I was in preschool. Since I was four, I clearly didn’t make the realization myself. But my family was good friends with the pre-school teacher, Judith, and she coined the phrase “coffee talk.” At the time, I just thought that’s what everyone did. People sat down, drank some coffee and talked about their day. It was that simple at the time. But there is so much more that goes on while those people are talking.

Coffee holds an importance in American life that is not just about the caffeine. I am witnessing now, as I have so many other times, two people talking. Wait, excuse me, they are venting. Venting is distinctively different than talking. Venting is when someone sounds like they are complaining about life and generally the people involved in it. This process can also tend to get very personal and the content is generally made up of the minutia of everyday life.

Although venting can sound conceited, self-absorbed, or just like begging for attention, it is at times necessary. Let me be clear: I am not talking about voicing your opinions online or just screaming at a roommate about someone else. There is a time and a place to vent. There is also a particular skill required to not sound extremely unattractive while still expressing your feelings. Generally if you are with someone that you respect, you will sound a lot more respectful. This person should also understand you.

This understanding is why we vent. We want someone to understand us. That person hearing what you say and then expressing their understanding makes you feel as if you are not alone in your aggravation. And honestly, life is aggravating.

At other times we may need more than just common understanding. We may need comforting words or advice. This always depends on the situation as well as the person.

Sometimes we just need some time to relax. Talking about all the things that stress you out and annoy you can give you the illusion that these things are somewhat closer to being solved.

So, why coffee? Why is coffee necessary in the venting process? Ok, it’s not. It just has become commonly associated with venting and has a few benefits to help with the venting process.

Coffee is a drink; it’s not dinner, and it is no big deal. It’s possible to have the same venting process over a meal, but drinking coffee is less distracting. It’s also light and doesn’t weigh you down like food would. Coffee is quicker, therefore, there is less of a waiting process than there would be in a restaurant. When drinking coffee, you are satisfied with your ordered product much sooner than if you ordered a meal. Coffee is also portable. If you buy your coffee at a cafe, you can walk somewhere else rather than sit at the shop you just bought it at. Coffee is a great timer; it’s a hot drink, and once it gets cold you can bet that whomever you are talking to is done listening by that time. People may need this timer because venting can get very emotional, which could mean that they get carried away.

People may think that alcohol is similar, but it’s not. Although I’ve heard many times that bartenders double as therapists, alcohol is mind-altering. To truly feel relieved of your aggravation, you need to mean what you say and remember the conversation. This holds true for any other mind-altering substance that people might use.

Humans are social beings and part of that is bonding with one another. During that coffee talk, you bond with that person to some degree. We live for that, whether we know it or not; we beg for that human interaction.

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Claire Yetley is a junior in political science from Iowa City, Iowa.