When a couple becomes unsure about marriage and spending the rest of their lives together, postponing or cancelling their wedding might be the best option. Even though breaking off an engagement carries its own set of complications, dealing with a divorce years down the road could be much worse.

Weddings are planned well in advance

Logistically there are lots of things that couples commit to and book early in their engagement: venue, flowers, formal wear, photographer, caterer, hotels and restaurant reservations, etc. Dan Brabec, owner of Coe’s Floral and Gifts, 2619 Northridge Parkway, said that typically he meets with brides about floral arrangements six to eight months before their wedding date.

Celebrations Party and Wedding Store, 546 Main St., provides a variety of services to engaged couples. The business will assist in setting up and decorating a wedding, provide custom invitations and thank you cards and assist in rentals and decorations.

Stephanie Burnett, owner of Celebrations, said during wedding season – May to October – she recommends couples book their rental services eight to nine months in advance.

Spread the news even if you don’t want to

Immediately tell your friends and family, especially people planning on attending the wedding, that about the change in plans. It’s like ripping off a Band-Aid: You want to do it quickly.

Your family and friends might be making or already have travel arrangements to attend your special day, so it’s only fair to them that they know to cancel. Plus, the earlier you take action, the better chance you have of receiving money back from any professional services you’ve booked for the wedding.

When you’re telling people that the wedding isn’t taking place, don’t be afraid to rely on the people you’re closest with to help spread the news. Chances are your best friends, parents, or siblings will be happy to help you contact your guest list and inform them of the cancellation. These people care about you and understand you’re going through a difficult time.

Start calling vendors

Once family and friends are aware of your change in plans, you need call the vendors you’ve already booked. You might have to call about the reception hall, a wedding planner, caterer, hotel, restaurant, minister, florist, DJ, photographer, flights or reservations for the honeymoon, etc. Did we mention that weddings are complicated?

Some businesses or vendors require couples to make a deposit when they book the service. Depending on the contract, some vendors might give the couples a portion of the deposit back, while others might not.

At Celebrations, couples place a 25 percent deposit when they book the service. If the couple needs to cancel their wedding, Burnett said the couple would lose that deposit.

However, if they just need to postpone or delay the wedding date, she said Celebrations can accommodate the couple. “Even if the date is switched extremely last minute, we can usually make that change,” she said.

Because each business or vendor has different policies it’s important to know and check your contracts. When you’re cancelling or switching the orders, you’ll want to have paper documentation or any arrangements made between you and the vendor.

Time plays a role

Sometimes if you cancel far enough in advance you might not suffer any losses from some businesses. Brabec aid that Coe’s does its best to try to work with couples that have to either postpone or cancel their wedding. “We try not to charge them for the order and to immediately call the suppliers to cancel,” he said.

There is a point when Coe’s cannot cancel a floral order for a wedding. Brabec said that customers can cancel or adjust their order date up to two weeks prior. Coe’s orders their flowers from countries around the world, such as Holland, Ecuador, Chile and Australia.

These flowers are then shipped to the U.S. and transported to Iowa.

At around two weeks Brabec said that the grower in one of these countries has already committed to that specific floral order. “They might be harvesting or pulling the order together for that specific wedding,” he said. Once the grower is committed, the customer is committed.

Sound advice: “Don’t make big plans until you are certain”

“There is a lot of money involved in a wedding,” Burnett said. “Wait to set a date or book rentals until you are absolutely sure.” She said even changing a wedding date can create a lot more work for a couple.

“Often people have already committed to coming and vendors have already been booked.”

Both Brabec and Burnett said that cancellations aren’t frequent at their business. At Coe’s Brabec said “they happen very infrequently, like once every two years.” Burnett said Celebrations has cancellations “maybe once a year.”