Around this time of year, that we in America so fondly call “the holidays,” the spirit of giving and togetherness runs rampant. The point of Thanksgiving and Christmas, in a modern interpretation, is really about being around your family and enjoying each other because you put differences aside. For the goal of a peaceful togetherness, that is.

The spirit is its own reward, logically. Work toward it and you have it, and then you can enjoy it. In my experience, this isn’t the atmosphere of the holidays at all.

The real reason for the “holiday season” is the children. Why do we make up fictional gift givers, act like we like our family when they bother us and let children indulge in sweets and staying up late? It’s all our effort to try to show children how good life can be before it all gets dumped on them.

Hypocritical in itself, this fictional situation is created by us to prove that life isn’t so bad. We couldn’t just show them life as it is; it would ruin their sense of innocence and indulgence. Funny Uncle Bill is an alcoholic who ruins Thanksgiving dinner, Santa can’t fit a bike down the chimney because we’re too poor to buy one, or even just the fact that children have to do absolutely no cooking, cleaning, gift buying or sleeping arrangements because we grown-ups take care of it.

Is this irresponsible of us? We shield our children from grown-up problems and responsibilities because we want them to like life enough that the inertia of a happy childhood carries them through the fact that none of it remains after you figure out it’s all a facade.

We spend the rest of our lives hoping to attain these moments when we were completely free, and this is why we carry on tradition.

Hopefully, as our children grow, we can give them the specialized love and care that is so easily expressed in the winter, and make sacrifices to make it seem better. Because then they’ll be around to give those moments to their children when they are too perceptive about life to appreciate it the same way.

But then what happens to the children? Their expectations are distorted. As years pass and they figure out who Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny really are, they can wonder why no matter what they do, they can’t ignore the realities that ruin the dream. By giving them something to miss, we give them a reason to dislike what they’ve got.

We have to accept that we aren’t doing any of this for them – we’re doing it for ourselves. Just because it’s inconvenient to handle all the holiday logistics doesn’t mean our motivations aren’t twisted. Then again, doesn’t everyone benefit from seeing a happy child?

The point is, we shield our children because they can’t handle adult situations. They just don’t have the capacity or the knowledge of the world to make sense of it all. We might as well make it extra special for them while we can.

Do the means justify the end? After years of make believe, we try to transition them into accepting the world as it really is, but the risk that some of them won’t want to is a risk we have to take.

Does any of this have to do with the problems being reported with our youth? Why can’t they have what they want when they want it, and why shouldn’t they feel entitled? Society demanded a time when they should be indulged, and society decided when it was over. It’s not surprising that a lot of us would miss it.

– Luci Van Scoy is a junior in anthropology from Newton.