If you’ve ever dreamed what it would be like to sit down with Santa Claus at the North Pole and pick the big man’s brain, well, it’s not going to happen.

The Daily, however, was able to pull the sleigh over while Santa Claus was commuting through Ames to get some juicy holiday secrets.

Santa Claus (a.k.a. Dave Greulich) hails from 3rd century Asia Minor, and, believe it or not, he’s still around today to give some of his precious time to the mall-wandering children of America.

At this point in his schedule, he’s been making face time with some Iowa kids at the North Grand Mall in Ames.

The Daily was able to sit down in his lap and ask him a few basic questions.

Alex: What is the wildest gift you’ve ever been asked for?

Santa: Well, I had a little boy last year who wanted a riding lawn mower so he could help his daddy cut grass. Of course I’ve had my share of horses – and even reindeer – for presents. I usually dissuade them from that because Santa knows about reindeer and you really don’t want one in your backyard.

A: Who’s on the naughty list?

S: Oh, Santa never tells. They know who they are – I even know about that little incident you had about three weekends ago.

(Ooops .)

A: What’s your favorite cookie?

S: Oh, Santa doesn’t have a favorite kind of cookie – he just loves all cookies.

A: Whole milk or chocolate milk?

S: Both; maybe even a little eggnog every now and then.

A: Where do elves come from?

S: Well, where do little boys and girls come from? They come from older boys and girls, so little elves come from bigger elves.

A: I’m amazed – with the divorce rate being so high, how is it you and Mrs. Claus are sticking it out?

S: Well, we’ve been together for so long, we just understand each other, care for each other and love each other very much.

A: What’s the most-asked-for toy this year?

S: Well, it kind of goes in cycles from year to year. Actually, I’ve been very surprised this year that I haven’t heard more requests for the new XBox . Especially in the last two years, it seems some of the old classics are back again – My Little Pony and even The Teenage Mutant [Ninja] Turtles are back.

A: How are you so darned elusive?

S: Oh, well, there’s some secrets that Santa can’t divulge. I mean, where would Christmas be without the magic?

A: Have you ever seen “Bad Santa?”

S: I hate to admit it, but yes I did. One of the elves, who shall remain unnamed at this particular point, gave Santa a copy of that for Christmas a couple of years ago. He’s continued to be a bad elf.

A: Do you feel Christmas is becoming over-commercialized?

S: Santa feels that if we did get back more to the true meaning of Christmas, [we could] get back more to the spirit of giving to others, especially to others who may not have as much as we do.