Try to imagine this — the good ol’ moneyheads at the Hollywood executive offices decide it’s time to rehash the past on the 1986 cult classic “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” by creating a modern-day sequel. In order to “modernize” its image, they decide to bring back Cameron and Ferris in a plot to save their lower-class New York neighborhood by outfitting them in colorful jumpsuits and entering them in a breakdance competition.

Sounds awful, right? In fact, it’s only a downright treasonous blow to the integrity of the original. Such is the case with “The Ring Two.”

Rachel and Aidan Keller thought they were safe when they moved to the countryside with down-to-earth people and a small newspaper — hell, no. That little vixen Samara is back to raise hell once again, and this time she means business. She starts off by giving them little hints she’s hiding in their closet, then finally gets bored with the game and outright possesses Aidan.

Aidan, played by David Dorfman, is looking just as gloomy and pale as the first round — this time, however, the movie was nowhere near good enough to mask the fact he speaks with as much enthusiasm and dialect as Sylvester Stallone in “Rambo.”

But the reason his bad acting is now apparent is because of the utter atrocity of the plot. When watching this film, one might ask — Where is all the suspense? All the terror and mystery? And why are Bambi and his fellow elk henchmen trying to mob Naomi Watts?

The whole scary allure of the first film was embodied in the mystery of who this little girl was and what the hell was going on with this video tape. You never knew exactly where she’d show up and in how many ways she could kill people.

Now, all is explained with the sequel, and the once-creepy corpse with a major case of aquaphobia is now nothing more than an unhygienic version of Dennis the Menace. Yet, the sequel’s largest error is there were more laughs in the film than there were screams.

The laughs weren’t entirely unintentional either — the boss from “Office Space” shows up as a realtor bent on selling the Morgan Horse Farm despite its history, which makes for a some dark humor and irony.

Only adding to the plot’s awkwardness and inconsistency, the conflict’s resolution was entirely too convenient and mediocre — enough to make any audience say “What?” It is almost as if the production team got tired of the story and decided to short-sheet it for another production.

Despite the fact that director Hideo Nakata may have a good eye for scenery, it wasn’t nearly enough to cover up the ugliness and stupidity of this film, revealing it’s only true inspiration — franchise.