Politics for really stupid people

Brian Stillman

With the election caught in a deadlock, there are a few aspects that just do not add up.

No matter which candidate you support, you must admit that a few of the dilemmas that are delaying the decision seem like they should not be too difficult to resolve. In the tradition of the best-selling books such as “Accounting for Dummies” and “Internet for Dummies,” I feel it is my Constitutional duty as an American to start a new book:”The Election for Dummies.”

The first dilemma that seems to be turning the nation in circles is the controversy over the ballots in Palm Beach County, Fla.. The complaint has been made that the ballots were too confusing to read and forced a large number of residents to accidentally vote for Pat Buchanan when they really meant to vote for Al Gore.

I think I speak for a large portion of the nation’s population when I say these people are obviously not the brightest members of society. The ballot has been shown on every major TV station and published in every newspaper in the county. It had George W. Bush on the upper-left with Al Gore directly underneath. The controversy arises from the fact that Pat Buchanan name was on the upper right and was punch No. 2 on the ballot while Gore was punch three.

Residents of the county say that they believed Gore was punch No. 2 because his name was directly under Bush. This seems like a logical explanation until you take time to look at the ballot. What these voters apparently failed to recognize was the huge black arrows that pointed directly from the candidates name to the appropriate punch.

The ability to associate an arrow with direction was something that most people learned how to do in grade school. In turn, it seems realistic that a group of young children with the ability to read would be able to punch out the hole that corresponds with the correct name. This would give these children a distinct advantage over the residents of Palm Beach County. Yet it is these residents who are demanding a re-vote. If this re-vote did occur, the belief is a large majority of the votes would go to Gore, possibly affecting the outcome of the entire state.

If these residents are not competent enough to punch the correct hole the first time, why should they be allowed to throw off the vote of the whole state and the nation? Therefore, their votes should be counted as-is and be left alone. This would probably turn the tide in Florida in Bush’s favor. No, I am not a Bush supporter.

Another aspect flying around is the demands made by some members of the Republican party that Gore conceded the election to Bush. This one is going way out on a limb as Gore is currently holding the lead in the overall electoral vote. Sure it is the Republican’s belief that after all this mess Bush will win the state of Florida and thus the presidency. But, as a very competitive person, I would never relinquish something that I have worked so hard for, especially if I was in the lead. So why would Gore concede on the closest election in recent memory when he received the edge in the popular vote? Don’t give up yet Al. No, I am not a Gore supporter.

And the last dilemma I want to address is the fact that we are still waiting for votes to come in to Florida from overseas. This means that we will wait until all of those votes have been counted. While the overseas vote will probably go to Bush, if is not really the issue. The question here in my mind is why the fate of an entire nation may come down to those who are not even living in the country. I realize that some of these people are out of the country due to military services but not all of them. If the presidency comes down to the vote of people who have been out of the state for a few months, there may just be a glitch in our electoral system. No, I am not a fan of the electoral college.

Yet no matter what the outcome of the election and no matter how long it takes, there will undoubtedly be long-lasting controversy over a nation divided over its own fate.