What’s the dilly yo? My pool is now destroyed thanks to Gonzaga and St. Johns, and I can now get on with my life. The Blue Devils will be cutting nets and taking names. The only possible way for the team to lose its chance at glory would be for an NCAA investigation to prove what I have known all along — their alums pay better than ours do.

The Cameron Crazies have lots to cheer about with seven McDonald’s All-Americans and three more on the way.

The only team that could be remotely menacing to Duke could be UCONN. With their fat point guard, anything is possible. I have figured out the little pudgy guy’s secret. Khalid El-Ahmin sweats a lot. Anyone who plays basketball knows it is the worst task on the court to have to guard the guy that has not yet discovered the modern miracle of Speed Stick.

Onto the NBA, which is at its halfway point, which means some of my predictions may fail. For starters, the Clippers may pull out 3-4 victories this year, far beyond the zero I had originally called. Secondly, my prediction that they would be sent to the ABL is a definite failure, since the women’s league is now no more.

The Nets are also out to make me look bad. The team is loaded with potential and little else. At the end of the season, I predicted playoffs for the best thing to hit New Jersey since, well, since anything (except for the Devils). Now the Nets look as if they would have problems in fighting their way to the semi-finals of the Rhode Island coed, 50-and-over basketball tournament. The only positive move the team has made was to sign Stephon Marbury, who in turn will leave after the season is over.

The Lakers still look like the team to hate, trading away Eddie Jones and Elden Campbell for sharp-shooter Glen Rice.

Now on to baseball, where my Giants are finally getting the last laugh. After the loss to the Cubs that kicked the San Fran treat out of the playoffs and left me in seclusion for months, the Giants should be happy. The Cubs have announced stud Kerry Wood will miss the season due to elbow problems. Yes, root for the Cubbies all you want; no Wood equals no playoffs, giving the coveted wild card to San Fran.

Also, another note is that former Ankeny standout Benj Sampson has cracked the starting rotation for the Minnesota Twins, which is great for the team that should lose close to 100 this year.

The Kansas City Chiefs are looking to rebuild from last year’s letdown. One of their first steps was resigning Dan Williams. Then the team just went nutty. The next week Dale Carter signed with conference rival Denver, leaving me to wonder if Carl Pederson (Chiefs G.M.) had gotten into the bottle of Elmer’s glue recently.

Hockey is in full swing right now, and the Detroit Red Wings are looking to end on a bang, bringing in Chris Chelios. The move has many teams petrified of the club, but remember one thing — the road goes through Buffalo, where the “Dominator” is in full effect and the trade for Joey Juneau has the team primed for a drink from Stanley.

Don’t bother calling me on Sunday, as Wrestle Mania 15 will be on, and I will be dead to the world. For those of you who were really going to call me, actually call me earlier in the day (I don’t get many calls, except for Mom and Dad).

For those of you who missed the events this past Monday, you should be shot. Mankind defeated The Rock for the right to ref The Rock’s title match against Stone Cold at Wrestle Mania. Stone Cold beat Paul Wight, but the biggest match of the night was Badd Ass versus The Road Dogg. The match spells trouble brewing in Degeneration X. If there is a split, it could cause a big mental trauma for me.

WCW was in Cancun with some weak matches. The highlights were the return of El Vampiro, Ric Flair defending his title successfully against Rey Mysterio Jr. and the Goldberg match. Goldberg annihilated Hardcore Hack and after the fight amateur hallway wrestler Stevve Harnack had this to say of the bout. “Goldberg is a bad, bad man, but he is no Strama.”

Speaking of Strama, the legend made an appearance on Sunday night at the arm wrestling tournament held in the Kappa Sigma house. The man known as The Dream won the tournament for the second straight year, making his legend even larger than he is.

I will close with an interesting rumor. Chris “Big Chops” Martin allegedly has been training and has his sights set on gold. The “chosen one” may try out for the Iowa State track team to run sprints next year.

This one goes out to Nick Grasty, Clint Powell and all of my boys. Continue to read.

Brett Noble is a freshman in journalism and mass communication from Ankeny.