Look for Otters in Lake Laverne

I heard a passive remark last week that there may be an otter in Lake Laverne, so get your romantic cabooses out there and see if there’s any truth to it. Your date might try and look at the swans instead, but those overgrown pampered chickens have inflated egos and terrible personalities. It is much better to look for cute water mammals who collect rocks by putting them in the skin pockets they’re born with.

Take them to one of my senior engineering lectures

Last time, the professor talked about straightness tolerancing for 45 minutes. Don’t let that discourage you, this date idea is not only for ‘straight’ people, and any sexual preference is accepted in the class. Though you and I clearly find machining tolerances to be a riveting topic, your date will find you to be the most interesting part of the day.

Cut each other’s hair

It’s simple. The front person sits crisscross applesauce, the person cutting the hair wraps their legs around them, then cuts to their whimsy letting hair just fall into their lap. Some people question his methods, but my barber is truly a visionary.

Check out all those parking lots

Ames has a lot of them, some are big and wide, and some are big and tall. Wherever they are, they are nowhere near campus, and you will have to walk like a mile to get anywhere you want to go. At least you’ll have someone to walk with?

Come see the Iowa State Stand Up Comedy Show next week Friday Feb. 18

Like really though, are you going to do any of the other ones?