In the life-long debate of estrogen versus testosterone that seems to never wane, I declare a victor.

Each gender has its own theories and evidence against the other, ridiculing back and forth about what makes one more difficult to understand than the other. Ladies, I am here to tell you, that we have won this battle because we are, by far, the more complicated sex. Although, I’m not sure we actually ‘won’ anything, because it’s a fact, being a woman is hard.

Aside from the very obvious biological complexities, such as hormones and monthly annoying bodily functions – yes I’m talking periods – women have so many other traits that make them nearly impossible to fully comprehend; traits that men don’t even know about.

One of the more apparent factors that makes us females difficult to understand is the way we speak and our communication efforts. Many words and phrases women use, such as “fine” or “nothing,” mean quite the opposite of their regular definitions. It’s as if we have a language of our own. The “Man’s dictionary of terms for women” defines several of these terms and phrases to help men decode the complex female vocabulary.

For example, the word “fine” is described in said dictionary as “the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can’t stand to hear you argue any longer.” Basically, it means that you should shut up, and most importantly, that they are most definitely not fine. This is a very accurate definition of a woman’s use of the word “fine,” and a far cry from the true definition.

Another thing that makes us females a little more complex is our impeccable choice in fashion, but awful choices for the weather – especially in Iowa. I’m talking about when we go out on a date in winter and still want to wear that cute dress and heels, the ones you know you will freeze in, but gosh you’ll look fierce.

Most women, including myself, can’t even explain these choices, or why we think it is a good idea to wear a summer ensemble in February and try to pretend wearing tights with shorts makes us not cold. But most of us have committed this act of fashion suicide a thousand times and will continue to do so, shivering all the while.

Continuing on the topic of mysterious choices, I’m sure men are perplexed as to why girls wear so much makeup, and occasionally so am I. I mean it makes acne worse, causes watery eyes and eyelash curlers looks like some type of 19th century torture device.

Yet, every morning we cake on foundation while complaining about how long it takes and how annoying makeup is – only to wake up the next morning and do it all over again. If you were to ask a girl why she continues to wear any amount of makeup, even though she hates it, I bet she can’t even tell you a real reason. But don’t try and tell them they need a real reason, that will only end in a “fine,” which by now you should know only means a fight is yet to come.

And in said fight, you can count on some serious over analyzing about everything that comes up because women do it for everything, not just fights. For example, that text you sent me last week at 1:02 p.m., I’m still boiling over it, trying to figure out what exactly you meant by “Want to meet for lunch?” Did you really want to meet for lunch? Or were you just being nice? Or even worse, was this just some cruel set up and you won’t really show? While this over analyzing may seem completely crazy to men, women can relate; we all naturally over complicate situations; we know we do it but we don’t know why.

While all people are complex in their own way, generally speaking women show more convoluted, difficult to understand patterns and tendencies. Men do have their own complexities, but let’s face it, there are much fewer and it’s just less work to be a guy. I feel it’s safe to say that if, as a woman myself, I can’t understand my own gender’s actions, we are clearly the more complicated gender.