Gridiron Picks — Week 14

Jake Calhoun, sports editor (50-41)

Dean Berhow-Goll, assistant sports editor (58-33)

Alex Halsted, assistant sports editor (54-37)

Stephen Koenigsfeld, sports online editor (61-30)

Guest Pick: Dan Cole, sports reporter/comedian (45-32)


No. 19 Northern Illinois vs. No. 18 Kent State (MAC Championship Game)

Jake Calhoun: Northern Illinois — I don’t know what’s worse: Getting blown out by Kentucky or getting beaten at the last second by Iowa.

Dean Berhow-Goll: Northern Illinois — I’ll take the Huskies in this #MACtion showdown.

Alex Halsted: Northern Illinois — The Huskies probably wish they could get that Iowa game back. They’ll win the MAC title at least.

Stephen Koenigsfeld: Northern Illinois — Oh what a game of MACtion this will be.

Dan Cole: Kent State — My eighth grade teacher’s last name was Kent, and believe me when I tell you, she sweated more than anyone I have ever seen.

No. 17 UCLA vs. No. 8 Stanford (Pac-12 Championship Game)

Calhoun: Stanford — If a Tree falls in the Pac-12 title game and Oregon wasn’t there to chop it down, does UCLA still matter?

Berhow-Goll: Stanford — I think Andrew Luck is really good.

Halsted: Stanford — The Trees handled UCLA last weekend and although it’ll be tough to do the same, I think Stanford still wins.

Koenigsfeld: Stanford — NCAA Football ‘12. The mascot battles. I revert to those, yet again.

Cole: UCLA — I’ll see Jake’s tree riddle and raise him a, “Does a bear crap in the woods?” The Bruins will drop a metaphorical deuce on the Trees.

No. 23 Texas vs. No. 7 Kansas State

Calhoun: Kansas State — Bill Snyder and Mack Brown are in for a pissing match. That is, if either of them can still pee.

Berhow-Goll: Kansas State — Is Bill Snyder the coach on those Toyota commercials?

Halsted: Kansas State — No National Championship Game for the Wildcats, but they still probably need this to guarantee a BCS bowl.

Koenigsfeld: Kansas State — I’m not sure I’m comfortable watching Bill Snyder do all that heavy lifting in the Big 12 commercial…

Cole: Kansas State — While Collin Klein and I were feeding each other seedless fruits on Sunday night, he told me he’d be sporting a special Calvin Klein jockstrap. Propellers are involved.

UCF vs. Tulsa (Conference USA Championship Game)

Calhoun: Tulsa — Speaking of pee jokes, the Golden Hurricane will drench the Knights en route to a C-USA title.

Berhow-Goll: UCF — I’m going to be pissed if this game runs on TBS instead of Hot Tub Time Machine.

Halsted: Tulsa — The Golden Hurricane won this game the first time around and they’ll take the coveted C-USA title with another win.

Koenigsfeld: Tulsa — Making a pee joke would be one too many for this Gridiron.

Cole: UCF — It’s my understanding that UCF stands for Ultimate Cat Flamethrowers. I don’t know what “Tulsa” stands for, but unless it has to do with fire or magic, they lose.

No. 2 Alabama vs. No. 3 Georgia (SEC Championship Game)

Calhoun: Alabama — Wait, Missouri didn’t win the SEC East?

Berhow-Goll: Alabama — Nick Saban cons his way to another national title game. Is it 2014 yet?

Halsted: Alabama — Winner takes on Notre Dame in the title game. Nick Saban’s team might be too much to handle for the Bulldogs.

Koenigsfeld: Georgia — They don’t have Johnny Football, but they have what it takes to knock that smug look off of Nick Saban’s face.

Cole: Alabama — This is the only pick I’m answering seriously, so that I don’t lose my job or get institutionalized. Alabama does well footballs.

No. 15 Nebraska vs. Wisconsin (Big Ten Championship Game)

Calhoun: Nebraska — If Bo Pelini can get a Big Mac at Burger King, I should be able to get a McChicken at Wendy’s. #jakecalhounfunfacts

Berhow-Goll: Nebraska — Bo Pelini is a sandwich at Jimmy John’s. #bopelinifunfacts

Halsted: Nebraska — “Bo Pelini ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.” #bopelinifunfacts

Koenigsfeld: Nebraska — Bo Pelini can kill two stones with one bird. #bopelinifunfacts

Cole: Nebraska — Bo Pelini sounds like that dude from the Dos Equis commercials. Picture an Avengers-type outcome in which Lucas Oil is reduced to rubble.

No. 13 Florida State vs. Georgia Tech (ACC Championship Game)

Calhoun: Florida State — If Pam Ward calls this game, I’m going to throw my roommate’s TV out the window and fire Stephen.

Berhow-Goll: Florida State — ACC football is a punchline.

Halsted: Florida State —The Seminoles let me down last weekend against Florida, but this one won’t be close. Florida State rolls to a big victory.

Koenigsfeld: Florida State — The ACC, where Pam Ward commentates and everyone turns the channel to some MACtion football.

Cole: Florida State — Everyone seems pretty upset that this game is even happening. Cheer up, guys! If Georgia Tech is anything like ITT Tech, then its students aren’t athletic.