Editorial: Don’t miss the new season of ‘GOP Hopefuls: Down with Obama’

Editorial Board

Although there is a tendency among college students to lean toward a liberal sensibility — sorry college Republicans, but it’s true — the conservative side of the coin is where the action lies currently, so pay attention.

The questionable relevancy of the Ames Straw Poll aside, results let the world know that if you buy enough people tickets and provide food, you too can create a staggering lead for the Republican presidential nomination. Well, OK, not really.

Michele Bachmann purchased more that 6,000 tickets, aka votes, and received 4,823 votes. Wait a tick, more than 1,000 people she essentially paid to vote for her didn’t? Regardless, she still won, but by a small margin.

Ron Paul came in a close second with 4,671 votes; though Fox News appears to not recognize Paul as even a contender. Nevertheless, Paul is still campaigning with a glimmer of hope of coming out on top, provided he doesn’t frighten some much-needed right-wing support away by sounding as if he supports heroin use.

As to the rest of the field, well, Mitt Romney didn’t bother to show, so he remains the leader of the GOP race. Yes, that is correct, Romney remains the leader of the pack by not involving himself. Brilliant.

Truly, the Straw Poll is an accurate gauge of Republican temperament.

Announcing on the morning of the Straw Poll was Rick Perry; also referred to as Bush on steroids or the candidate packing heat. Yep, Perry carries a laser-sighted .380 Ruger loaded with hollow-point bullets when he jogs, though it remains uncertain whether he carries it while campaigning.

Perry didn’t actually appear at the Straw Poll, but as soon as he announced he was catapulted into the top tier of potentials to dethrone Barack Obama.

So, let’s see, the Straw Poll gave Bachmann the win for trying to buy the most votes, so she can compete with Perry and Romney, who didn’t bother to show, but still carry more weight. Paul is mostly ignored by the conservative media, which is, as luck would have it, giving him some extra coverage by media sources not believing in social conservatism as the end-all of ideas.

There are a few other hopefuls deluding themselves into campaigning, but at best they can only try and show that years from now they might be worth looking at again; though that hasn’t stopped them from chiming in with anti-Obama rhetoric whenever a camera is turned their way.

Now, be you a Republican, Democrat, Independent, Socialist or Communist — note to the average American: Socialist and Communist are not interchangeable — you should be watching how Republicans decide their champion.

The idea for each candidate revolves around saying how terrible Obama is and pledging to right the wrongs of America by going the opposite direction of nearly every decision our sitting president has made. Combine that with the liberal media’s coverage, Fox News and the comedy ensuing from either side of the fence’s pundits, and you have better television than most prime-time programming.

Get educated, get involved and get ready, because polite political discourse will have next to nothing to do with the 2012 presidential election. No, what we’ve got here is better than “The Jerry Springer Show” on crack.