When others are facing a time of distress, loneliness and confusion, often comfort and solace are found in the form of a stranger, the Good Samaritan. Those with goodwill and compassion help us shoulder our burdens and sympathize with our pain, and those who are fabled to be the most honorable do so selflessly.

But such Samaritans have become mere myth. Now, instead of kindness and compassion, they broadcast hatred and disgust. In lieu of a helpless victim, they prey on dissenters and point the finger of blame to further their own ideals with no regard for any others.

I present to you the newest breed of the traveling do-gooder: The Bad Samaritan.

In a nation and time in which morals vary so vastly, the shameless practice of guilting others into doing the “right thing” is inundating, overpowering any attempts to preserve humanity and preserving a hypocritical platform that corrupts the principles of our foundation.

These Bad Samaritans start small, working their way into personal connections and tainting individual judgments. Chain mail is their preferred weapon.

For example, take into account these directions that were aimed at everyone in my office:

“There is an anti-Christian movie (written by an atheist, Philip Pullman of England) called ‘The Golden Compass’ coming out on December 7 (just in time for Christmas). It stars Nicole Kidman, so it will be getting a lot of publicity. Philip despises C.S Lewis and Narnia, and his goal is to ‘kill GOD in the minds of children’. An article written about him labels him ‘the most dangerous author in Britain!’ He has written 3 books that all promote atheism, and the movie depicts his first book (which is the more watered-down of the 3). His goal is that you see the movie and then that your kids want his trilogy for Christmas.and then it REALLY gets offensive in the second 2 books!! But just to give you a tid-bit of what’s in Philip’s books.a ex-nun calling Christianity a convincing mistake, 2 characters representing Adam & Eve KILL God (called YAHWEH) in the end, and there’s a story about castration & female circumcision! I am blown away by this! It will be targeted toward children and advertised as a fun-holiday flick. Don’t fall for it!”

Take note of the subtle layman’s grammar and redundancy, to further impart the complicated intent: “This movie attacks my beliefs and I oppose it. Furthermore, it threatens an unfounded authority over my children’s minds. If you don’t agree, you could be harming not only my children, but your own. God gave you free will, but take my word for it.”

After subtle threats of chaos toward the few, the Samaritan then works his or her way up to a broader audience. A good way to keep ahead of these masterminds is to look for any logic behind their actions, and the probability of appropriate results – lack of same is a certain marker.

For instance, a common theme is the idea that the collective power of many individuals will promote and validate any particular cause. These movements usually involve the word “out,” followed by the word “day” – such as “National Gas Out Day,” “Blackout Day” and “The Great American Smoke Out (Day),” but they can also be seen as a weak effort to boycott an entire concept, idea or trend.

If these Samaritans have surpassed such minimal levels of disregard for individual choice and logical reasoning, they move on to their biggest challenge: the miracle of mass media. One well-placed Bad Samaritan can easily thwart anyone’s career, reputation or attempts at success by convincing thousands that their personal sensibilities were defiled by actions unthreatening and irrelevant to themselves, committed by well-known figures desiring to live their lives as they see fit.

Choice of personal lifestyle, word usage and occupation – or even lack thereof – are all subject to intense judgment and scrutiny by the masses that hover around the Samaritan. Persuaded that their own personal opinions and decisions are invalid, the throng then attempts to destroy anyone to whom these capacities still remain.

All of these current moans are inane and reveal an attempt to assimilate humanity. The accused include Google, for a lack of patriotism in its logos; Duane “Dog the Bounty Hunter” Chapman, for the context of a personal conversation; and numerous dead soldiers, for their choice of partner.

These cultish moral leaders, however unqualified, would have you believe that these choices will poison your mind with influence and ideas- therefore, they will avoid this by telling you what to think and whom to like or dislike.

Aspirations to ignore the herd prove futile, as they troll both physical and technological pathways and are immune to factual evidence and sound purpose.

The upside in knowing that some can become hysterically passionate about an issue they can’t be bothered to comprehend or concede is the confidence that soon the rest of us will be free of their idiocy, lounging on a brimstone beach so far from their heaven that the bleating is almost inaudible.

&#8212 Luci Van Scoy is a junior in anthropology from Newton.