COLUMN: Grab your leases, we’re hunting apartments

Ethan Newlin Columnist

It’s that time of year again. Maybe you’re living in the dorms and are beginning to wonder where that combination of broccoli and sweat smell is coming from.

Maybe you’re living in an apartment and realize the only reason you don’t own a dog isn’t because of a restriction by your landlord, but the simple fact the creature couldn’t survive in the toxic environment you dare to call your living space.

In short, it’s time to move up and move out, because it’s lease-signing season in Ames.

It can be confusing, that first trip from the dorms, making that leap from campus living to full-fledged renter. There are plenty of options and pitfalls out there, so as a public service and as a successful renter in the city of Ames, I would like to take this time to give some advice to those looking to rent in our fair city for the first time.

Since there are limited spaces to live and the competition is fierce, keeping several key points in mind should yield successful results when it comes to shopping for a new place to live.

Rule No. 1: know who/what you want. This may sound obvious, but the truth is that most problems with finding and securing a place to live have to do with those breathing rent checks you call roommates.

Who’s living with whom, who hates whom, who has threatened whom with physical violence, which one has an ex: all that drama must be worked out before anything is signed.

Otherwise, you end up getting conned into subleasing your extra room to a suspicious, pale hermit who demands to be referred to by his call-sign “Razor.” The key here is to make sure everyone involved can tolerate one another, and that everyone is prepared to live in the same style of housing. Getting those difficult — but necessary — details worked out early keeps you free of hang-ups down the road.

Rule No. 2: Be prepared for the runaround. Don’t expect to walk into an established landlord’s office, sign some papers and be out of there with a new place to live in no time.

Not many people realize that first-time renters, just like a credit report, don’t have any renter’s history for the landlord to gauge the economic risk of having you as a tenant.

For most people, that means getting mom and dad to sign all kinds of waivers saying they will foot the bill if you’re late with that month’s rent. Getting the parents involved brings with it all kinds of unique problems, so having your parents ready to go before you even begin is a sure way to get signed faster.

You should also be prepared for red tape when you’re ready to hand over your deposit. The idea of the deposit is pretty simple; you pay equal to one month’s rent as a sign of your interest in the lease, and when you sign it becomes a security deposit that will pay for any damages you cause while living there.

However, some landlords don’t always follow the rules. They may want you to pay equal to two months’ rent, or month and a half or any other variation. While being shown apartments or houses, be sure you are clear on what is exactly required of you to sign your lease and complete the contract.

Rule No. 3: Know what your landlord wants. This works the same as rule number one, but in the opposite sense. Get a good idea of what a landlord expects of you as a tenant.

Sometimes landlords will have behavior waivers for you to sign alongside your lease that pledge you will abide by all the rules while you are a tenant. The rest is all about subtlety and being able to read your landlord.

Does your landlord really care what you do, or is the landlord only concerned when the cops get involved? Is your landlord the kind of person who will get lawyers and the courts involved, or are they more likely to use the mob?

Are they the kind who will call you up to let you know when they are stopping by, or will they burst in on you while you’re in the shower to fix the sink?

And most importantly, are they serious when they say they will evict you for having a kegger?

These kinds of clarifications on the rules help keep you out of prison.

Last but not least: read everything you sign. It’s the safe thing to do, and nobody wants to be homeless for signing apartment 2156 when you need 2159.