I walked into McDonald’s yesterday and was shocked at what I saw – people were shoving greasy slabs of moo cows into their mouths.

How unhealthy! How unethical!

I immediately flew into a rage, smacking their slices of death from their hands and flinging red paint to and fro. “Murderers!” I screamed while I called Fiona Apple on my organic cell phone.

Actually, I’ve never done this. But that’s only a slight stretch of what some people picture when they find out I am a vegetarian.

Yeah, it’s true – right here in Cowland there are people who don’t eat meat, and I’m one of them. Haven’t eaten meat for more than four years now.

It’s really as simple as that, too. I decided to change to a meatless diet, and I’ve benefited from it.

No revelation or vision telling me to stop eating meat. No grudge toward those who do eat meat. No hippies kidnapping me and telling me of the wonders of soy, as I think my parents feared for years. No life-alerting experience involving farm animals turned pets turned Sunday dinner. It was just a simple decision that I made.

Being a vegetarian isn’t for everyone. I don’t look at eating meat in a condescending way, I don’t preach animal rights and I’m not a PETA member.

I do support the ethical reasoning behind being a vegetarian, and I believe there would be great benefits if everybody reduced the meat in their diet. It’s possible that we could produce a lot more food if we used land to cultivate crops instead of herds of cattle. But when it comes down to it, my decision is about what food I put into my mouth, and the same is true for people who eat meat.

I’ve heard multiple times the forced views of others about why being a vegetarian is wrong. Nothing ruins a meal like that, so I’m not about to turn the tables and start forcing my personal decision on others.

I’ve been yelled at for being self-righteous just because I ordered the grilled cheese instead of the chicken wings. I sit through meals when strangers or friends nitpick at what I’m eating and poke fun at my choice not to eat meat.

“Want some steak? I don’t think it has any meat in it!”

“Mmm, this hamburger’s good. Too bad you have to eat that tofu crap.”

Oh, ha ha. See, I know how to eat meat, I just choose not to. And if I truly were miserable eating alternatives to meat, such as tofu or soy, I would go back to eating meat. But I’ve found a healthy way to avoid eating meat and I enjoy it.

Vegetarians have to make daily decisions about their diets, so they know how to get by not eating meat, even if that means being really creative in the dining halls. (Not that bread, cheese and rice four times a week isn’t a culinary delight.) I’m used to finding meat-free meals, and I don’t expect special treatment. It’s embarrassing when I go to a friend’s home and they fuss over me.

“Do you eat eggs? Do you drink milk? Do you like bananas? Do you eat beans? Can I have meat, or will you get mad?”

I’m a lacto-ovo vegetarian, which means I do eat eggs and dairy products. Believe me, I’m not a picky eater. And of course I like fruits and vegetables.

I know what not to eat, so reminders to not eat meat at each meal aren’t too necessary. And tricking me into chowing down on a pork chop doesn’t really work too often, but oh the laughs it brings to the dinner table.

Vegetarians in Cowland don’t always have it easy. The one vegetarian restaurant Ames has had in the last three years went out of business. And while part of the fun is trying to find a meatless meal, not all establishments cater to a vegetarian diet. Sometimes even all the salads have meat on them.

Yes, I can eat Animal Crackers. And if a vegetarian doesn’t eat Gummi Bears, it’s because they’re avoiding gelatin, not because they think there’s little bits of ground bear cubs in them.

So it’s that simple – my decision not to eat meat. But it’s still a lofty decision. There’s just one rule to being a vegetarian: don’t eat meat. If you do eat meat, you’re not a vegetarian. So, not to be rude, but if someone just kinda, sorta eats meat, the rule’s still been broken and they’re not a vegetarian.

I understand if boca burgers and fakin’ bacon don’t make your tummy grumble in delight, but they are a part of my vegetarian “lifestyle,” as I’ve heard it referred to. I don’t preach at the dinner table and I don’t pretend to vomit when someone decides to chomp on a chicken wing.

But give vegetarians that same respect in return. Don’t take away from their meals to tell them how their diet is disturbing.

I like it when people ask questions about being a vegetarian, don’t get me wrong. It’s just when the conversation turns into someone calling me “Soy Boy” that I start to think that if they’re going to hassle me this much about what’s going into my mouth, I don’t care a whole lot about what’s coming out of theirs.

Cavan Reagan is a junior in journalism and mass communication and English from Bellevue, Neb. He is the research assistant for the Daily.