An interview with Erik Hoversten, a man of the people

Erik Hoversten

Not to toot our own horn here at the Daily, and certainly not to suck up to staff writer Ben Godar any, but I really look forward to reading the SoapBoxing feature every Friday. I’m eager to see who’s up for today.

When you’re taking a class, and you get that first test back, you might be convinced that the professor has no soul. There aren’t too many opportunities to find out that they are actually huge Zappa fans or their favorite movie is the same as yours.

Who would have thought that Loras Jaeger, the grand poobah at Department of Public Safety, sounds like someone you could go out for a beer with on the weekend? Any weekend except this weekend, that is.

Last week’s SoapBoxing with Jischke also was very enlightening. I have a confession to make: I’m a leadership fiend. I’m always looking for the opportunity to improve my leadership skills. I hope one day to be a university president, a congressman or maybe even president of the United States.

Of course, the most difficult challenges in running a campaign are conveying to the voting public that you are a dynamic person with numerous interests and resolving questions about your past.

Then I got this terrific idea that would lick both problems. I could conduct a little interview with myself to show everyone my varied interests and leadership skills and to record what I was like in college. Here is a transcript of the interview I conducted with Erik A. Hoversten on Thursday:

How has your upbringing molded you?

I spent the first 14 years of my life in Iowa City and the next four in a suburb of Minneapolis. My time in these cities fostered my conservative views and my commitment to a drug-free America regardless of the cost. In Eagan and Iowa City, we know that people who use drugs are inherently evil and should be locked up at all costs.

Math and physics sounds pretty hard. What’s the attraction?

Frankly, it’s always been my goal to improve the lives of my fellow men through technology. I’m committed to building a better future for the children of tomorrow.

What does a typical weekend in Ames entail for you?

Friday and Saturday I run from one multicultural/community event to the next. I save Sundays for strengthening my faith at my non-denominational Christian church and, of course, homework.

If you could accomplish one thing in life, what would it be?

I want to be the best darned Erik Hoversten I can. You can’t ask for much more than that.

What would you say is your greatest flaw?

Well, this is sort of embarrassing, but sometimes, I’m late for classes and appointments. It’s not that I lose track of time; I have excellent organizational and time-management skills. The problem is when I’m walking to class, I pick up every piece of litter along the way. I want Iowa State to be as clean and beautiful for our grandchildren as it is for us today. Unfortunately, this commitment makes me late sometimes.

What’s the best joke you’ve heard lately?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the opossum it could be done. I tell you (chuckle), the first time I heard that one, I couldn’t stop laughing.

A handsome guy like yourself must be keeping an eye open for significant female acquaintances. Which do you prefer, blondes or brunettes?

Hair color aside, what matters to me is that a young woman has as firm of a commitment to family values as I do.

Boxers or briefs?

Union suit.

If you won a round-trip plane ticket to anywhere in the United States, where would you go?

I would use my ticket to bring a friend or family member to Ames to show them what a terrific place it is.

Who would win in a fight, 1965 Watts rioters or 1992 Veishea rioters?

The Veishea rioters would be outnumbered and probably would lack some of the angst of the Watts rioters. Despite these setbacks, I have faith in the ISU student body. I think if Veishea rioters saw the Watts rioters, they would realize what they were doing and seek out a peaceful solution to the situation. I’d be willing to bet they would give up alcohol on the spot in order to ensure that the Cyclones of the 21st century would be able to enjoy the rich Veishea tradition.

Erik Hoversten is a senior in math and physics from Eagan, Minn.