Polygamy makes the holidays harder on all

Tara Deering

It was Thanksgiving Break, and I was just chillin’. You know how it is. I had my legs kicked up and my stomach full of turkey and all the dressings when the MTV “Sex in the ’90s” special came on about polygamy.

My first reaction was “What the hell is this?” However, like MTV’s “Loveline” and the “Real World,” I was easily drawn to a show telling the stories of real-life people.

One of the polygamous relationships was between two men and a woman. The woman was married to one man but had fallen in love with his best man after they had gotten married. Instead of taking the risk of losing his wife, the husband decided to move his best man in.

Watching the threesome lay together on the two full-size beds that had been pulled together, I wondered if they had ever heard of having an affair or divorce. Or what about just being faithful?

Everything wasn’t all Brady Bunch heaven in the relationship. The woman admitted she was getting worn out trying to please two men who had to have it a lot.

To solve the problem she dropped the loser and stayed with her husband, right? Naw, if she would have done that she wouldn’t have been a ’bout it, ’bout it polygamous. Instead, she contemplated bringing another woman into the relationship.

I figured the other woman would probably be her best friend, since it seemed they were opting to be like “90210” and keep it between friends. In the spirit of the holiday season, I couldn’t help imagining what it would be like to spend Christmas in a house where the people were polygamous.

Who would sit at the head of the table? Would they all kiss under the mistletoe? Would Santa Claus view their relationship as naughty or nice? Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ, but it’s also about spending time with family — a lot of family if you’re polygamous.

A polygamous relationship could put some strain on a holiday season.

First there’s the financial burden of having to buy two expensive gifts for your significant others. If you bought one fruity, edible briefs, you couldn’t buy the other one a tie.

Then there’s giving to others. In the case of the woman with the two men, she would have to be equally generous Christmas night or one of the men would feel left out. What ever happened to giving yourself to only one person?


Tara Deering is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Des Moines. She is editor in chief of the Daily