Last weekend, I went to a dance in Linden Hall. For a graduating senior who lives off campus, that might seem pretty pathetic. We went there to visit my roommate’s friends and to show my sister and her friend — who plan to come to Iowa State next year — a little about dorm social life.

As my boyfriend Brian and I walked around the crowd of people, we talked about how we felt much older than everyone else. In fact, we felt like we were the dance’s chaperones. In all reality, we are only a few years older than the people who were dancing the night away, but I felt old because I had already experienced the residence halls and many other aspects of college life. For me, it was a night when I realized that I’ve grown up in my four years at Iowa State.

I realized that I am not a kid anymore.

I only have nine more days to be a kid — well, at least a college kid. Then I have to face the real world of responsibility. It is not as if college students don’t have responsibilities, but those just seem less of a burden than the real world because there are so many freedoms that go along with college life. This hit me harder than ever when I received a mailing from the Direct Loan department outlining my loan payment options. My mom told me not to look at it until after finals because it was scary. She said it frightened her. But I couldn’t resist. I had to know.

So I have been endowed the wonderful prize of paying anywhere from $10,000 to $15,000 in interest on top of my loan. Yeah! I have never been so excited. And in a mere six months I can being to pay off this wonderful debt.

That’s real world responsibility. And it’s creeping up on me. I won’t be able to go to Buck Burgers at Cy’s with my friends, or write a story whenever for the Daily. There is a whole score of things I won’t be able to do — and I am trying not to think about it.

However, I am overjoyed about no more classes, no more homework, no more long papers, no more tests. I don’t have to go to the library and be unlucky in my search for books. That will be nice.

I am excited to graduate. It will be a grand day because I will feel as if in all my hard work and procrastination, I accomplished my ultimate goal. It always seemed so far away, but it is here, and believe me, the four years flew by.

As I enter the real world of careers, I will be going alone. Sure, I have friends graduating, but they aren’t going the same place I am. I have to do it alone, which not only makes it a little exciting, but also a little scary.

I am looking forward to moving and getting my life settled and saying that I did it all on my own. That will be a wonderful feeling, even if I call mom and dad with their 1-800 number.

Working in my career field — broadcast journalism — will also make the step an exciting one. Even though my paychecks won’t even be close to that of students graduating from engineering, I won’t be working a part-time job in a grocery store, retail, a restaurant or any similar business where I worked during high school and college.

And there are little things I am excited for, like using the brand new dishes my mom bought me for Christmas. I can read when I want to, not because I have to, and I plan to continue education, but do it on my own. I will actually have time to work out.

But I am also scared. Although I am good at keeping myself busy, I don’t want to be lonely. That’s why I plan to exercise and read. I fear losing contact with the many friends I have made in college. Graduating feels like a sudden break-off of friendships. I will miss people with whom I enjoy spending time, like co-workers, classmates, friends, professors and my boyfriend.

It will be hard, as are all changes in life. I can’t avoid it, so I have decided to make the most of it, even though loan repayments are quickly approaching. I am ready for this next step in life — to not be a kid anymore, even though I know I will still be in touch with my “inner child.” I am taking this step, but not without hesitation.

I am ready — especially for what will be a wild graduation party with my friends. I am ready.

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Erin Payne is a senior in journalism and mass communication and political science from Rock Rapids.