It’s our ultimate goal as college students. And it’s why we borrow so much money. We go through years of grueling and sometimes rewarding coursework for that one piece of paper:

A diploma.

But as you walk into your first class as a freshman, you think that date of wearing a cap and gown is so far away. For most of us at that point, we just went through the whole pomp and circumstance thing in high school.

But for me and many other Iowa State seniors, graduation is creeping.

When I first went to my English 105 class, I remember being there 30 minutes early just because I was afraid I wouldn’t find the classroom. I had so much extra time that I wrote my mom a letter about how scared I was to be in college. I was ready for the step but anxious about the adjustment.

College was scary. Since I lived on a farm and my hometown is only about 2,500 people, Ames seemed huge. My parents kept telling me not to walk on campus at night and to carry mace or pepper spray. I immediately noticed that few people smiled or said hi to you as you passed them on the sidewalk. And although I had driven in large cities, it was different navigating in an unfamiliar town that had more than two stoplights.

But all that unfamiliarity has worn off. I now know many people in my classes and say hello to acquaintances when I see them on the sidewalk. And after delivering food for a couple area restaurants, I know the streets (and alleys) of Ames pretty well. Ames doesn’t seem so large when I know someone who knows someone else who knows someone else who knows someone I dated or is from my hometown. It really is a small world.

And now I am faced with being catapulted into yet another environment — the real world. I have to find a job, pay my college loans and make a life for myself.

I am excited for the change. I am excited to make a move on my own. Although I have several friends graduating also, it doesn’t seem likely that I’ll end up in the same city as any of them. When I came to ISU, my friend Katie and I adjusted together. This time it’s going to be just me.

I think it’s kind of exciting not knowing where I will be living in just a few months. You see, since I am a journalism major and not an engineer, I don’t have the perk of having a job secured seven months beforehand. What job opportunities are now open in my field won’t be open in May. I still have to wait a bit.

You have to admit, although I’ll have to pay off student loans, there are some advantages to graduating — no more class, no more homework, no more crappy schedules where I have five-hour breaks between classes. I will get to be professional and grown up. I will go to the library only if I want to, not because it is required. I can spend my free time how I want. Actually, I am just excited to have free time.

But there will be some downfalls, too. Most importantly, I will miss my friends. There are lasting bonds that get you through the difficult times of life and just can’t be broken. I won’t be able to goof off as much. I won’t be able to just call someone up and talk whenever and forever (this time, there will be a long distance charge applied). And I will miss the familiarity I have developed with the people and environment at Iowa State.

But the time is quickly approaching, and I have come to realize that whether you graduate in four years or nine, receiving that diploma is likely to bring all of us a strong sense of accomplishment, maturity, happiness and hope for the future, but it will also bring sadness because most of us will have to leave. I know I have to move on, and I am excited for it, but I know I’ll miss the little things about college life (like wearing bib overalls whenever I want). I think this road I have traveled will make me worthy of that diploma I’ll receive.

The countdown has begun. My roommate Jaime tells me that there are only 77 days until … what, I don’t know. All I know is that my mom will make me carry mace and that I am ready for May 9.

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Erin Payne is a senior in journalism and mass communication and political science from Rock Rapids.