Well folks, the year is almost wrapped up, and with it, come my predictions for the new year. I will only put in the positive stuff, because if I slam anybody, I get lashed by scores of alumni. And as a disclaimer, this is all opinion, and I can not be held responsible if you use this information for illegitimate purposes.

The year 1997 feels lucky for me because of the number seven. A neat fact, I celebrated my first birthday 7/7/77.

And so, without further fanfare, I give you my seven predictions for ’97.

Number one. Darren and Troy Davis return for next season. I think the chanting of “One more year” made Troy Davis remain faithful to the ‘Clones.

Number two. Troy Davis gets 3,000 yards next season. You heard it here first. He will also break the number of yards rushing for a game against Missouri next year, with an unheard of 450 yards, give or take a few.

Number three. Mike Tyson has a rematch against Evander Holyfield and gets his ass kicked again, only in less time. I say 30 seconds into the fourth round. Tyson then resorts to acting in lame Pizza Hut commercials, getting knocked out by double cheese.

Number four. The St. Louis Cardinals win the World Series. That whole Yankees thing was a fluke. Had it been the Yankees against the Cards, everyone knows who would come out on top.

Meanwhile, the Braves have the kind of season the Astros had in 1988 — nobody remembers what happened because they sucked that bad.

Number five. The Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl. I am sorry. That is just the way I see it. The Packers will be green with envy seeing the Bills roll over the 49ers and then themselves.

All that moldy cheese must be affecting the way you Wisconsin people think. Yeah, you too, Dave. I’ll put my money where my mouth is.

Number six. Almost forgot. Troy Davis wins the Heisman. I think everyone knows why. And for next year, I have strong premonitions that Lee Corso’s car breaks down, driving through Iowa, and just like Jimmy Hoffa, disappears without a trace. Meanwhile, ESPN, not affected by the loss, hires someone with more knowledge on the game of football — Rory Flaherty.

And the number seven prediction for the new year.

Hmmm.

Having trouble. I am getting mixed signals. I think God is telling me to walk onto the football team. No, seriously, my brother is coming to Iowa State next semester, with intentions of walking on the team. I think he will turn out alright. And yes, he is a hell of a lot bigger than me.

Well, it’s been real. It’s been fun. Hey, this year has been real fun.

Catch all of you people next semester. Good luck on finals and hope you all get everything you want from Santa.

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Rory Flaherty is a junior in construction engineering from LeMars.