Because I said so, that’s why!

Brandon Belisle

I have been trying to play a fair amount of golf this summer and since the beginning of this season I have had a few experiences that have provoked me to remind all the golfers out there of a few etiquette practices.

1. When practicing golf, you should go to a driving range and not hit balls off the roof of your house.

This can not only get you in trouble, but unless you know the distance from your roof to that of your neighbors, it is not very helpful in judging your game.

2. When driving a golf cart, be sure to stay on the cart path and not play bumper tag with your buddies while driving all over the fairway. It is also not recommended to undo the straps holding the other golfer’s bag on their cart and then laughing when their new set of Ping golf clubs falls off and slides into the pond beside the cart path.

3. An important one to remember is to yell “fore” when your ball is heading toward a group of people.

Do not to wait until your ball hits the lady on the next fairway and then offer her husband a beer to forget the whole thing ever happened.

4. Along the same lines as 3, if somebody calls “fore” and then their ball lands by you, do not wave at them and then proceed to hit their ball back at them.

5. Keep pace with other golfers and do not stop after every shot to shotgun a beer with the other people in your group.

6. Keep a fair score card, and do not play two balls on every hole and take your best score, while adding a stroke to everyone else’s score.

7. Do not have the drunk guy in your foursome lie down in the tee box and hold golf balls on his nose while everyone tees off.

8. Don’t train your dog to retrieve golf balls and then let him loose on the course, and the whole time he is bringing golf balls to you, keep proclaiming that you have never seen him before.

9. Do not bring your 600-watt portable stereo out to the course, and play the song “I’m Too Sexy” at full blast from the back of your golf cart while dancing barefoot and shirt-less on the green after a three-putt, double bogey.

10. Finally, probably the most important rule of all, even if one of the guys in your group does not hit his ball past the women’s tee box, do not make him play through the hole with his pants around his ankles. Come on, it’s a family sport!

Hopefully these rules will make your golfing experience a safer and more enjoyable one, for every person who has to golf with you.

Brandon Belisle is a junior in journalism from Bolingbrook, Illinois. Brandon is a staff writer at the Daily.