Witte: We must be ever vigilant, comrades


Photo courtesy of Rachel Ritland

Witte satirically suggests that, like in “Animal Farm,” freedom and contentment will come from putting in the most effort.

Jacob Witte

Several days ago, our ‘leader’ announced that he would like to see increased taxation on what he referred to as ‘the wealthy’. This would, according to him, aid in curbing the debt that has been incurred upon this glorious nation. A debt that, in case you have forgotten, has been laid upon us by him and his ilk. Yes, my dear comrades, the president wants to disproportionately tax those of us who do the most work, who labor the hardest, and suffer the most when it comes to workload of this great land.

Does he take us for fools? Surely you must understand that it is for our own good that the prosperous of this land continues to be prosperous. We pigs are responsible for the well-being of all, and for the continued affluence of this land. It is because of us that we have the great labor that has been bestowed upon us. It is because of us that we all live in this highly enlightened and thriving culture of ours; we would all certainly be lost without our constant vigilance.

To punish us privileged few casts a great shadow over what has made this country great. For you see, our continued prosperity will lead all of us to an even greater future. It is a glorious burden to be placed in the position that we are in, and because of this burden, certain indulgences must be provided for. Surely you do not think we enjoy sleeping in beds made of the finest linens? Eating the sweetest apples and drinking the finest milk? These “luxuries” are taken in with a great deal of reluctance, for without them, we would not be able to perform at the level needed to run this great society of ours.

You have no doubt heard rumors about past years in which the taxation rates for us meager individuals were at astounding rates, and yet the economy was still flourishing. Pay no attention to these lies, for they are merely promulgated by those who seek to undermine us at every corner. And let me tell you now, comrades, we shall not yield. Our Dear Leader, our TRUE Dear Leader, would never lead us astray, for Our Dear Leader is always right.

Other plots against the security of this land insinuate that ‘wealth inequality’ is destructive to the natural order of things. This is merely another treacherous conspiracy perpetuated in order to upset the established hierarchy. Inequality? Who says this is inequality? This is simply the equal distribution of wealth based upon the amount of effort placed into the system. Those who work harder earn their keep, and those who do not, suffer the consequences. It is merely the way things are, the way things have been, and the way things must continue to be. And because we pigs are working ever so attentively, persevering through the hardest of hardships, it is of no doubt that this share falls upon us.

The wolves are at the gate, my dear comrades, and our resolve must be as strong as ever. We cannot let these lies continue to infiltrate our thoughts and minds. These lies lead to inquiry, inquiry in turn leads to doubt, doubt to paranoia, and paranoia to treason. And surely by now you know what happens to traitors among our ranks. So my dear, dear comrades, if you even think to question the established order, simply repeat the phrase “I will work harder!” to yourself and put your mind back to ease. Those who are in charge will take care of you.