Planning a wedding is a stressful event. There are many details couples have to plan for, including venues, linens, caterers, china, decorations, photographers, flowers, dresses, tuxes, the wedding party, music, invitations, the marriage license, an officiate, a ceremony location and much more. Are you stressed out yet? Well, you might be if you felt the pressure of planning a “perfect” or “unforgettable” wedding.

With all the decisions and details to iron out, wedding planning can be highly stressful, especially for the bride. Traditionally, she only gets married once, and these days there seems to be a lot of pressure on couples to have the perfect wedding. This stress can cause overreactions and lead to arguments.

Angie Miller, owner and coordinator of Elegant Events in Des Moines, has been planning weddings since 2007. Most of the time, Miller participates in every aspect of the planning process.

“I’m involved in everything from cake testing to choosing centerpieces,” she said.

She deals with everything, the good and the bad. Sometimes, one of the more difficult aspects of her job is handling any disputes between a bride and her maid of honor or bridesmaids.

Out-of-control bride

When Miller has a bride stress out about a part of the wedding leading up to her big day, Miller said she sets up a meeting with the couple to discuss how all the planning is progressing to reassure the bride that everything is under control.

“I touch base with the bride to let her know what’s going on and make sure she has everything she needs,” Miller said.

Miller said brides sometimes overreact to different situations during the planning process because sometimes it’s “hard to give up the reins on your big day to someone because you want to make sure it’s all taken care of.”

The moment Miller is confronted with a distressed bride, she detaches them from the current situation.

“I tell them to go in a room by themselves and relax — sit with a friend, watch a silly movie — anything to detach them from what’s going on,” Miller said.

Another helpful reminder she tells brides is that their wedding is a day to enjoy time with their friends, not to stress out about details.

After Miller successfully calms down the bride, her next move is to talk with the bride and find out what the problem is.

“I see if they want me to interact to solve the problem, or if they want me to give them suggestions on how to handle it,” Miller stated.

Troubles from the wedding party

Sometimes this problem is an uncooperative or overbearing member of the wedding party. In these situations, Miller said she tries to always be positive when approaching the individual.

“I try to redirect the person by letting them know how they can be helpful to the bride or groom, as opposed to a stumbling block,” Miller said.

She said she wants to make the encounter a positive experience for everyone.

“Sometimes these troublemakers don’t even realize they’re causing a problem,” Miller said. “They probably think they’re doing their best.”

In this situation, Miller said the best thing to do is to channel their energy into doing something productive for the wedding.

“Give them a responsibility,” she said.

Bridezilla alert

Everyone has heard about the brides who want everything their way, or you may even know one. They can be irrational, demanding and even inconsiderate. Miller said she’s dealt with one bridezilla so far. She explained that she was proactive about the situation.

“I gave my number to members of the bridal party and told them to give me a call.”

She said if she heard the bride was being difficult, she approached the bride by herself. “I don’t want her to feel ganged up on,” she explained.

Miller was able to diffuse and problems by being a liaison between the bridezilla and the wedding party.

However, not everyone uses a wedding planner for their big day. Luckily, Miller shared some quick tips about how to deal with a bridezilla:

1. Be patient. Remember that weddings are stressful and “the bride is acting out of stress,” Miller said. “Your relationship with her isn’t usually like this, so it’s important to be there for her.”

2. Hold your tongue. Snapping at the bride won’t make the situation any better. It’s better to say nothing than to say something you’ll regret later.

3. Keep the big picture in mind. Keep in mind that you were chosen to be a part of the wedding. “The maid of honor and bridesmaids were chosen by the bride, so they’re very important people in the bride’s life,” Miller said.