Stoffa: 20 controversial, fun Halloween costume ideas


Courtesy photo: Wayne Lee/Flickr

Anyone can buy a costume at a store, but creating your own outfit can not only be awesome, but lots of fun – after all, fun is what Halloween is about. Courtesy photo: Wayne Lee/Flickr

Gabriel Stoffa

Oh how I love the month of Halloween. I try to do at least one costume or theme each day to celebrate this wonderful holiday.

I thought I would share my enjoyment of the costume escapades with a list of fairly easy-to-do ideas in case you find yourself in need of a some ideas for the slew of parties you may attend Friday, Saturday or Sunday –I recommend multiple costumes changes each day:

[Please note: Most of these are in bad taste or offensive to some people, so realize that some costumes are not actually a good idea to wear.]

1. Write the words “BAD IDEA” on a T-shirt. When people ask what your costume is, respond “Obamacare.”

2. Pour some dark liquid over yourself and say you’re the Gulf.

3. Sean Penn. Put on a suit and tie, then yell at everyone who has a camera and threaten them.

4. This is a group costume. Get yourselves dirty, put on jumpsuits and hard hats, and say you’re the Chilean Miners; as a bonus, you can party as hard as you like, because you’ve been stuck underground for 69 days.

5. Lil’ Wayne. Tattoos and an orange jumpsuit.

6. Another group costume. Go as a reject from “Jersey Shore.” Actually, this doesn’t have to be a group costume, as probably one-fourth of the costumes at bars and parties will also be dressed like this. Guys, now the only decision is whether to wear a beater or a T-shirt. Ladies, you can’t all be Snooki, some of you can be “South Park’s” version of Snooki.

7. Lindsey Lohan or Paris Hilton. Just be whatever type of hot-mess you want, just remember to “act” stupid when asked about your drugs.

8. Be like the home-brewed superheroes in “Kick-Ass” and make your own vigilante costume. The sky’s the limit for this one.

9. Be a celebrity zombie. Here are a few popular ones: Corey Haim, Dennis Hopper, Gary Coleman, Paul Gray, Maury Chakin and Ronnie James Dio. Also a couple could go as an undead couple: Brittany Murphy and her husband Simon Monjack.

10. Mel Gibson. You can get drunk and yell obscenities at women all night.

11. More group costumes. One person can dress as Jeremy London, and two others can dress as kidnappers. London claimed the kidnappers made him smoke dope and purchase booze for a gang, so you’ll already be in character as you enjoy the Halloween parties.

12. Charlie Sheen. Shave your head, ask for hookers and look a little strung-out. Also, make references to past successes then become angry regardless of if people liked them or not.

13. Tiger Woods. Besides the nifty golf attire, make certain to try and get-it-on at the bar or club.

14. Dirty yourself up, tear your clothes, bloody your face and claim you lived in Port-au-Prince.

15. Justin Bieber. Try to look as young as possible and make yourself pretty enough so as to make your sex questionable. IMPORTANT SAFETY NOTE: If you actually pull of looking too much like Bieber, you may find yourself molested by pre-teen girls, college-age girls and lonely housewives alike, not to mention a fair amount of men.

16. Wear snow masks or handkerchiefs covering your face, yell “Thieves” a lot and throw things at security officials as a Greek rioter – just pretend you’re at Veishea.

17. Put on some Mickey Mouse ears and attach Wolverine claws to your hands to represent Disney’s purchase of Marvel.

18. Stephen Hawking. Get a wheelchair and program a computer-like voice to say “God did not create the universe, the law of gravity did.”

19. Lady Gaga. Take anything you want, and put it together as an ensemble, then be stylishly slutty and glamorous.

20. A final group activity, and this requires many people. Make signs that have uninformed statements; make assumptions or declarations that have little basis on fact; and dress up in ridiculous outfits or fat suits so you and your friends can claim to be Tea Partiers.