Movie Review: ‘Jennifer’s Body’

Gabriel Stoffa

[Singing] “Jenny, I’ve got your number, I need to make you mine. Jenny, don’t change your number, 8-6-7-5-3-0-9.”

Tommy Tutone’s song has always been a favorite for me, but thanks to the satanic ritual sacrifice scene of Megan Fox in “Jennifer’s Body,” it has become a permanent addition to my iPod.

That’s one of the few cool things about the movie — the music. It’s chalk full of pop-rock tunes from up and coming to already star status indie and alternative bands. The songs match up nicely to the scenes and maintain the teenage feel needed for this high school setting.

Entering “Jennifer’s Body,” I knew a real treat was in store thanks to Fox’s lips — by that I mean her speech. This is no surprise coming from stripper turned Academy Award Winner Diablo Cody, the film’s writer, known for her flair for witty, catchy and/or intellectually-driven valley girl-esque dialogue. Not only is there a healthy helping of Valspeak coming from Fox, but the rest of the character’s speech sounds like many high schoolers tend to communicate. This isn’t to say the dialogue for this was anywhere near the level that Cody wrote to grab her Oscar for “Juno,” but it is fun.

At first glance you might think this was just another bad horror movie attempting to cash in on the annoying trend to sell anything and everything vampire-like to audiences. Really, the movie is a high school dark comedy about teen hormones and youthful flights of fancy fueled by the occasional dismemberment of some horny, teenage boys. OK, fine, it is trying to cash in on the trend, but it’s making fun of it too. The movie is in the same vein as “Idle Hands,” a high school stoner comedy fueled by a supernatural serial killer (I highly recommend renting this classic).

Back to the Fox, er, I mean Megan Fox. For all those fans of the babe from the Transformers movies, you won’t be disappointed. She continues with her sultry, seductive performing while co-star Amanda Seyfried doesn’t look too shabby herself. The guys in the movie dress “cool” and wear eyeliner, so I guess they offer something, too, but the film could be described as a showcase for Fox’s body — the film might as well be titled “Fox’s Body” rather than “Jennifer’s.”

The actual plot of the movie is flimsy to say the best. An indie-rock-pop-hip-pretty-boy-rock band wanting to be famous goes all evil and somehow mistakes Fox’s character for a virgin — when she is clearly the furthest thing from — and so, botches part of their demonic summoning for stardom and a record deal.

 From there we get a series of attempted sex scenes and flashes of high school classrooms full of wannabe trendy kids who’s small town want for big city hipster status is all too real compared to how youth are portrayed by media today. Insert a murder, some sexual tension, kill someone, plan for prom, sex driven actions, death again, have Fox and Seyfried make out and kill some more. That’s the story.

Interesting developments to get your mind moving are not offered. Scary scenes to cause people to jump in their seats, lacking. Gross and gory psycho-killer death scenes to make your stomach turn, didn’t quite get there. Acting, don’t even get me started. Directing and the rest — not bad.

Really the only reason to go see “Jennifer’s Body” is to enjoy Fox’s body, the music and highly quotable Valspeak dialogue. That isn’t to say it isn’t worth $5 for a matinee, but don’t go out of your way. Renting this one will likely be a better experience, offering deleted/extended scenes and, hopefully, outtakes — perhaps a wardrobe malfunction for Fox akin to Janet Jackson’s infamous Superbowl flash.

Here’s to hoping.

—Gabriel Stoffa is a senior in communication studies and political science