I have to make a correction from my latest installment of Absurd Predictions.

Last week, I said that the skeleton was making its inaugural run at this year’s Winter Olympics.

Actually, this is the first time the event has been held since 1948.

So people aren’t acting like idiots for the first time, only for the first time in 54 years. It seems like the idiotic theme has spread to some upper management positions lately as well.

Falling Off the Dock of the Bay

Welcome to the hot new game show, “I’m not your mother. You made this mess, you clean it up.”

That has to be the feeling that bum family named the Glazers are experiencing. I thought Tampa’s football franchise could have been one on the mend, but not after this.

OK, let’s review.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers came into the NFL in 1976, a year which they went an outstanding 0-14, the last such team to go winless for an entire non-strike shortened season.

However, their fortunes turned around when they won the NFC Central in 1979 and 1981.

Then came the strike of `82. The Bucs were never the same.

Then, one day, light came out of the darkness and a man led the Bucs from a laughingstock to the respectable franchise they are today.

That man was Tony Dungy, a coach who in six years as the main man had given the team four berths into the playoffs and only one losing season. He also had the highest winning percentage in franchise history.

So what’s he doing in Indianapolis?

Oh yeah, the Glazers. The upper management of the organization fired Dungy two days after the team lost to Philadelphia in the wild-card round.

But the downward spiral had just begun to curl.

First, their negotiations with Bill Parcells fell flat on their face.

Then, there was that whole deadline thing with Jon Gruden, which brings us a new state slogan for California, “Don’t mess with Al Davis”. After Gruden slipped away, former Baltimore defensive coordinator Marvin Lewis was all but signed before Glazer power reared its ugly head again and broke off negotiations.

Now, the newest development in the ongoing whirlwind. According to the Tampa Tribune, Bucs general manager Rich McKay wants out of central Florida.

Who could blame him? The Parcells ordeal went completely under his nose before the rug was pulled out from under Lewis, his personal choice.

McKay is wanted in Atlanta after his success in Tampa and he may have been pushed out anyway if Parcells had been brought in.

So my advice to McKay?

Get out before these moronic buffoons drag your career six feet under.

Absurd Predictions

Today, I’m greasin’ up. No, I’m not trying to catch a pot-bellied pig for first prize in the county fair, but I feel like I’m probably heading that way.

This week is Speed Week at the most famous race in Nascar, the Daytona 500.

Last year’s contest was drenched with emotions that ranged from elation to suspicion to tragic remorse. In the last laps of the race, legendary icon Dale Earnhardt lost his life while propelling Michael Waltrip and son Dale, Jr. to a 1-2 finish.

Earnhardt, Jr. returned to Daytona in July and won the Pepsi 400 under criticism from fans of the sport. They believed that the race was setup for Earnhardt to win for sentimental value.

Now, with the race being staged 1 A.I. (After Intimidator), many drivers have a shot at taking the checkered.

Will it be golden boy Jeff Gordon, second-year sensation Kevin Harvick, Earnhardt Jr., defending champ Waltrip or one of the many solid performers on the circuit?

In one phrase, that’s why they call him golden.

Gordon will win his third Daytona and fourth overall race at the track. So what about absurdity?

How `bout this? Finishing eighth will be the lady of the court, or track, Shawna Robinson.

To all of you lovebirds out there, happiness, joy, and blah blah blah blah. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Jonathan Lowe is a senior in meterology from Kansas City, Mo.