Last year, Isiah Thomas coached the defending Eastern Conference champion Indiana Pacers to an eighth place finish.

Before that, Thomas owned the Continental Basketball Association, which folded earlier this year.

Now Thomas has written a book: “The Fundamentals: Eight Plays for Winning the Games of Business and Life.”

Since when does sucking justify a book deal?

Guys on Wall Street are raving over this about as much as Shawn Bradley raves over a middle seat in coach.

So what follows are 46 book titles that are equally absurd and undeserving of critical acclaim.

Hey, if Thomas can do it, why can’t these guys? .

1) “Scoop Up Some Dirt With Your Baseball: How to Stay Low and Field Grounders.”

By Bill Buckner

2) “Prose from 18th Century Russia Explained.”

By John Madden

3) “Minnesota: I Think I’ll Raise My Kids Here.”

By the Minnesota Twins

Foreword by Bud Selig

4) “No Thank You, Candy. I’m in a Monogamous Relationship.”

By Patrick Ewing

5) “Updating the Kama Sutra.”

By A.C. Green

6) “The Refs Were Paid Off. Screw Your Stinking `Miracle.'”

By the 1980 Russian Olympic Hockey Team

7) “I’m in Charge.”

By Doug Collins

8) “The Old Man and the Sore Ass.”

By Don Zimmer

9) “How to Survive Your First GQ Cover Shoot.”

By Jeff Van Gundy

Foreword by John Chaney

10) “I’m a Writer.”

By Dick Vitale

11) “I’m a Public Speaker.”

By Dick Vitale

12) “Losing.”

By Cael Sanderson

13) “Winning.”

By Dick Trickle

14) “I Get No Respect: My Dealings with the Eastern Seaboard Media.”

By Derek Jeter

15) “Stan’s a good name. Why couldn’t you have named me Stan?”

By Monarchos

16) “Perfect Diction Every Time.”

By Troy Davis

17) “I’m Doing My Part: How to Keep the Labor in America.”

By Phil Knight, Nike CEO

18) “Keeping Rising Stars in the Great White North.”

By the Montreal Expos

19) “My Life as a Bouncer.”

By Willie Shoemaker

20) “Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen.”

By Dan McCarney

21) “I Don’t Care if I Apologized. I’m Still Not Riding No Train in New York.”

By John Rocker

22) “Since You’re Wondering, Here’s My Life Since ’98.”

By Tara Lipinski

23) “The Fighters Weren’t Worth That Much: How I Pulled One Over on HBO.”

By Don King

24) “The Glove Fit.”

By O.J. Simpson

25) “Flossing.”

By Jack Lambert

26) “Conservatism: I’m Happy With It.”

By Dennis Rodman

27) “If Only I Had a Funny Name Like Dikembe Mutombo.”

By Dick Trickle

28) “Money Wasn’t the Issue. I Liked Wearing Pantyhose.”

By Joe Namath

29) “Rooted in the Farm System: How We Won the World Series.”

By the Arizona Diamondbacks

30) “I’m Not Rocking `Cause I’m Nervous. That’s Hemorrhoids.”

By Leo Mazzone

31) “Really. I Can’t Afford to Buy Guam.”

By Alex Rodriguez

32) “I Love Clay.”

By Pete Sampras

33) “I Love U.S. Open Fans.”

By Colin Montgomerie

34) “I Love Golf Fans.”

By Colin Montgomerie

35) “I Love People.”

By Colin Montgomerie

36) “Naah, I’ve Got Church in the Morning.”

By Sebastian Janikowski

Foreword by Steve Howe

37) “I Care About My Job.”

By Veterans Stadium Turf Crew

38) “I Care About My Job, Volume II.”

By Marge Schott

39) “Even Though Fred McGriff Left, We Can Still Name Someone on the Team.”

By the city of Tampa Bay

40) “Loyalty to the Team and City That Bleeds for You.”

By Lou Brouck, Andre Dawson, Greg Maddux, Mitch Williams, Luis Gonzalez and Mark Grace

41) “What I Remember After The Hit.”

By Eric Lindros, Steve Young and Troy Aikman

42) “From First to Third: Quick Around the Bases.”

By Mark McGwire

43) “The Multi-Dimensional Offensive Juggernaut.”

By Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

44) “What We’re Lacking is Talent.”

By Dennis Green

45) “Look Out Lakers: Franchise on the Rise.”

By Jerry Reisndorf’s Bulls

46) “Finding Foibles with Everyone Else.”

By Cynical Sportswriter

Paul Kix is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Hubbard. His book “How to write a brief” will be out soon.