Conference play is underway from Washington State to Florida State. This means that the future shoe endorser on your basketball team has a little time to hone his skills before he tugs on a Clippers baseball cap.But I am here to tell him that there are alternatives to basketball purgatory.If he would like to use a ball that is as colorful as the personalities on the team he plays for, consider Harlem. And the Globetrotters.But before one makes any decision of consequence, it is best to weigh the options.Therefore, the following is not good for just the player; but fan and media alike. So which game is better?The Globetrotters’ or the NBA’s?At a Globetrotter game that I recently attended, some fans sat courtside in folding chairs on red carpet.At a Lakers game, Jack Nicholson strolls across red carpet on his way to the arena.Advantage: NBA.At a Globetrotters game, the fans sitting courtside watch with eager eyes, and cheer and laugh wildly.At a Lakers game, Nick Nolte sits courtside and spends the evening talking on his cell phone.Advantage: Globetrotters.The Globetrotters play many of their games in college arenas that avoid attaching a corporate name to their coliseum like the people of Jordan avoided leprosy in biblical times.The NBA arenas welcome the suits and their names like Darryl Strawberry welcomes a line of cocaine.Advantage: Globetrotters.When the action gets too heart-pounding at a Globetrotters game, the players bust out the Village People, and dance along to “YMCA.”When the action gets too heart-pounding at an NBA game, a time out is called, and order is restored — a two-man game with three men standing about.Advantage: Globetrotters.Before a Globetrotters game, the press get a complimentary meal of … there is no complimentary meal before a Globetrotters game.Before an NBA game, the guy sitting next to you from the “Oshkosh World-Herald” yells “Hey bus boy, is that seventh course comin’ today or not!”Advantage: NBA.After a Globetrotters game, the players board a full-sized bus and sit next to their gym bags.After an NBA game, players board a 757 and sit next to a playmate.Advantage: NBA.The Globetrotters play scrubs like the Washington Generals.The Trailblazers plays scrubs like the Washington Bullets.Advantage: push.The Globetrotters Paul “Showtime” Gaffney has been known to take a time-out to sit and chat on the lap of the blue-haired lady in row 5.Ex-NBA player Charles Barkley has been known to spit on the lady with blue hair in row 5.Advantage: Globetrotters.The Globetrotters, by going to hospitals, schools, and speaking to various local communities, are trying to make the world a better place to live.Shawn Kemp, with illegitimate children in various states, is trying to make the world a more populated place to live.Advantage: Globetrotters.And finally, at a Globetrotters game, statistics are not kept.At a Clippers game, statistics are hidden.Advantage: NBA.

Paul Kix is a sophomore in journalism and mass communications from Hubbard, not Radcliffe.