It was a sign of the coming apocalypse. As I was scanning the CNN Web site, I saw the headline “Twinkie shortage looms.” Although I’m not up on doomsday cults, whenever a staple of American culture finds its existence threatened, the end must be near. After all, baseball and apple pie went out in the 1950s with Cheerios. Today, what’s more American than Twinkies and professional wrestling?

After reading the story, it became apparent that the end is indeed near, and that the Twinkie shortage is being caused by agents of Satan.

According to CNN, Teamsters at a New England bakery went on strike last Wednesday and have since spread their evil grip over much of the northeast.

The drivers set up picket lines in Philadelphia, New Jersey and New York. Sympathetic teamsters in those states refused to cross the lines set up by the New England drivers, resulting in the shutdown of a number of plants that employed roughly 3,000 workers. Already supermarkets across the northeast have put up signs on their shelves informing customers of the strike and the coming Twinkie shortage.

The bakeries, which produce products for Wonder Bread and Hostess, were in arbitration with the workers union over terms of delivery and the firing of a truck driver. Although I have no doubt that the courts will ultimately settle the issue justly, I believe the actions of the union raise some serious questions as to how viable unions are in this day and age.

There once was a time when unions were necessary. At the turn of the century, large corporations were run by evil despots who abused the working class. Workers had no rights, and crippling workplace injuries were quite common. While today, white collar types complain of poorly designed chairs with not enough padding for their posteriors, in the early 1900s people routinely lost limbs and lives.

But since then workplace conditions have improved so much that one can only wonder what benefits unions now serve. Unlike in the old days, workers are not routinely maimed or killed in unsafe manufacturing plants. Today’s workers find themselves in such regulated environments that-barring catastrophic explosions and postal workers-are safer than your front yard.

Even as society clamped down on workplace smoking, union negotiators made sure that smokers got five minutes every hour to grab a few puffs outside to cure their supposed nicotine addiction. As someone who doesn’t smoke, I sometimes find myself envious of that extra free time. Sometimes its enough to make me want to take up smoking.

But considering the relative utopia today’s workers find themselves in, I think it is fair to say that most unions have outlived their usefulness. Workers are no longer finding themselves at odds with enigmatic Mr. Burns cut-outs, and the original workplace conditions that spawned the unions no longer exist. Instead, many unions push for more than their fair share of privileges and contribute to an environment of us versus them.

The situation is analogous to an army without an enemy; rather than disband, they simply look for new fights or seek to extend their “rights” in the workplace. Less than two months ago there was an incident in Charleston, S.C., that highlighted the pettiness of the unions.

According to CNN, police were dispatched to a dock to protect non-union workers who were unloading a Danish freighter (Jan. 20, 2000). Apparently several independent workers had been pulled from their cars and threatened by union picketers, and police moved in to combat the dockworkers.

International Longshoremen’s Association President Kenneth Riley Jr. told CNN that he thought the police responses was overzealous, saying “You’re not dealing with a group of thugs here. These guys are hardworking, good citizens of the city.”

Despite Riley’s claim, I think that any time you pull someone from his or her car and threaten that person, you stop being classified as a good citizen and enter the realm of ignorant goon. What makes the situation even more infuriating is that the ILA already unloads 93 percent of the cargo in the Charleston harbor. That they already have a monopoly is tolerable, but that they seek to extend it through unfair business practices is not.

Despite Charleston, I think a case can be made for some unions where working condition are poor or benefits are denied. The move to unionize by striking college teaching assistants in California last year-where they were denied benefits despite doing more teaching than most professors-was entirely justified.

But the ILA incident in Charleston wasn’t. And it exemplifies the fact that a fair percentage of the unions have outlived their usefulness. Just because unions have existed for decades does not mean they should continue to do so. Nor should they expect our society to tolerate discriminatory business practices.

But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the unions aren’t to blame for the end of the world. But it is coming. I just read that Miller Brewing Company is going to experiment with plastic bottles. God help us all.

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Aaron Woell is a senior in political science from Bolingbrook, Ill. Bar fights will never be the same.