Bring back old-fashioned fun in Ames

Aaron Woell

My roommate loves Hy-Vee. Even if he complains that the store is laid out in a haphazard pattern and has too much Iowa State clothing, he loves the pre-made food they sell.

I suspect his affinity for frozen Italian meatballs and fruit pies is because he works in a Hy-Vee shipping warehouse.

They give him gift certificates as bonuses.

As great as the old Hy-Vee on west Lincolnway might be, even Adam recognizes that West Ames is an unloved and decaying relic of the past.

Like the drunk uncle who shows up at reunion and drinks to oblivion, the section of Ames west of Welch is definitely forgotten.

When I came to Ames as a freshman, the entire town was a yawn.

There wasn’t a whole lot to do, and what little there was had to be at least thirty years old. The movie theaters were designed to look like drama stages, and the mall carried clothes that were out of style when Nixon was in office.

Now we have a brand new twelve-plex with a Super K.

The clothes that were old when Nixon was in office are suddenly hip again.

It’s a grand time, but why has west Ames been left behind to fall apart?

Do the new owners think the magic red bull’s-eye will protect them from Mother Nature, or was it simply unfeasible to build where there is a huge population base?

I can tell you that nobody lives behind the new Target except for Stumpy the Squirrel and Mr. Gopher.

If you live out west you have to drive to the other side of town to buy more than groceries or over-priced cigars.

Even Cyclone Stereo and Ames Outdoor Outfitters can’t keep the people in the area happy.

If you ever venture out past Taco Bell you will find a testament to Ames’ neglect — that being a very old drive-in. Despite the sign that says “Closed for the Season,” I can assure you it won’t be opening anytime soon.

Which is too bad, really. I think a lot of high school kids would actually go to it. I know my roommate would, too.

Instead we can only shuffle rank and file into a theater with garish purple trim that Stevie Wonder picked out.

If you’re lucky, you can hang out at the gas station or maybe the superstore parking lots. Small store parking lots won’t work because you can’t park enough cars or drag race down the aisles.

As Ames has grown up, it has tried to shed its small town image and cloak itself in the embrace of muted corporate production line fun.

Just check out the video store on a Friday night and compare that to the number of couples standing at the fountain at midnight.

Nobody now will dare go campaniling until school is in session and it becomes fashionable again.

Small town fun needs to be brought back to Ames. There needs to be a place where underage kids can go and hang out and not get hassled by the cops.

Small towns usually have one ice cream shop or burger joint with a huge parking lot and plenty of bathrooms. Prices are decent and the managers don’t care if you don’t buy anything because they enjoy seeing people have fun.

I know this firsthand because on Thursdays I go to Porky’s drive-in diner in Des Moines. On those nights, every guy with a motorcycle comes out of the woodwork and goes to hang out with fellow bikers.

It doesn’t matter what you ride as long as you ride it there. Then you can stand around and shoot the bull and look at whatever oddities happen to show up.

The strangest thing I ever saw was an old BMW with more than two hundred thousand miles and bumper stickers from every state except Hawaii — and that was only because it didn’t float.

Young punks and old farts show up, and even though they have a good time, Ames hasn’t caught on and done something similar. Every year an all-ages nightclub tries starting up but eventually folds due to high overhead.

But these clubs won’t work because they try and make them too much like a bar minus the alcohol, and who the hell wants to do that? You can’t hit anything on the dart board when you’re sober. But Skee-ball works.

Back in Illinois there are a number of enormous arcades with pizza joints inside. and they do fine. Having a big parking lot always helps and there ought to be some pool tables.

My roommate thinks the city planners should just watch “Happy Days” and copy everything they see there, but I don’t know about him playing the Fonz.

The minimally appointed hangout should serve ice cream as well as food, have a huge parking lot and a massive arcade.

Throw in a 36-hole miniature golf course, and you’d have every high school kid there. You could even put in some sand volleyball courts and a skate board park.

Ames has taken at least one step in this direction. On South 16th someone took the time and effort to build a dirt bike track that I always see kids using. I drive by it every time I go to the movie theater.

Bring back old-fashioned fun and everyone will benefit.


Aaron Woell is a senior in political science from Bolingbrook, Ill.