Hello to friends, to enemies and to neutralities alike. I have nothing properly prepared of which to speak (though no one does in reality — if they say otherwise, they want you to buy something).

I figure a few words to introduce myself are best with which to begin.

After the many editorials I wrote to the Daily last semester, I am sure many of you — some of you, a few of you,. any of you — already know my work and my words, most of which I wrote without taking a cooling-off period.

“Ye who writes not now, only writes memories.”

I am a firm follower of the principle that if you don’t write your feelings when you are feeling them, what you write later is, at best, only what you can remember.

When you feel the passion, act on it. Do not be daunted by what others may say.

And should anyone tell you that writing what you feel is a waste of time — bite your thumb; they are unfeeling fools who are weak with words and weaker with heart.

The difference, now, with my writing to the Daily is that I get paid for it.

There is no better work than that which rewards you for using your passion.

I am also the editorial/political (take your pick) cartoonist. You can see most of my cartoons on the opinion page everyday and, sometimes, on the front page in full color!

If you can’t find any humor in my columns (which will be unintentional, if at all) you can easily find a few laughs with the cartoons.

If, however, you take personal offense at what is drawn, that is just too bad. What is already published cannot be unpublished.

Or you can act on your passion and write a letter to the Daily, which I may even be inclined to answer, if not through the Daily, then personally by letter.

Thus, in short, I am me and you are you. Introductions aside, I move on to bolder words.

All of us have heard the ultimatum Jischke presented some days ago.

Most of us scoffed at it, some of us supported it and most of us don’t even care.

So for those of you who still plan on drinking during Veishea, and for all of you who are sick and tired of everyone telling you not to drink, I have some words for you.

Drink as much as you can and as fast as you can!

Why should we stop drinking just because people have died as a result? Nothing beats the buzz brought by a beer, Jack Daniels or Southern Comfort.

The only thing that beats a good buzz is waking up next to a total (naked) stranger — depending on who that might be.

I think a good game to play would be to drink as much as possible on Friday, then try to break that record on Saturday.

On Sunday, see if you can drink more than the two previous days combined.

I am betting that no one can live up to that challenge … and no cheating.

Don’t drink one beer on Friday and two on Saturday. Drink as much as you possibly can before passing out or puking. It’s your choice.

Some people have drinking games with television shows, i.e., drink when a certain character has spoken.

Why be so moderate? Drink when anyone, on television or in real life, speaks. It speeds up the game and is more enjoyable.

A point of advice: do not give your friends any free alcohol. Let them buy their own damn beer.

Besides, when more people buy from the beer and liquor companies, those companies can afford to sell cheaper products in the future.

Thus, we all will save money over the next few years.

Now that I think about it, why wait for Veishea?

Start now while the semester is still young.

A great way to work yourself toward Veishea would be to drink one beer today. Tomorrow, drink two beers. Three on the third day, and so on.

Eventually, there will be physically just too much to drink. Just stop at a case or so, and drink that much everyday for the remaining days before Veishea.

And finally, when you have drunk as much as you can as fast as you can and you die of alcohol poisoning, there will be one less person I have to compete with in life, one less citizen to leech off tax dollars and one less driver to deal with on the roads.

Don’t get me wrong. I still love you all and I hope that if you do drink, you’ll do so with moderation.

If you must get wasted, though, at least do the rest of us the favor of not getting alcohol poisoning.

Pulling over for all those damn ambulances is hard on gas mileage.

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Carmen Cerra is a senior in biological/premedical illustration from Redondo Beach, California.